Hello Steemians. For those just catching up now... Are you just like me, hopelessly addicted to Sci-Fi stories and the many wonderful series shows available on Netflix?
Have you ever seen shows like Firefly, The Expanse, Dark Matter, Killjoys, Star Trek Discovery and the rest?
Well, we've got more in common than ever! I've only briefly played around in this genre and by no means can I consider myself a master sci-fi creative writer but at this point I feel like I have a pretty firm grasp of the fundamentals required to create a real sci fi experience. An immersion into another world. With deep characters, comedy and action sequences I will take my readers to another world.
Without further delay, I bring you the second chapter in a new sci-fi short story I've been working on. I'm still working out final details in the storyline but still have time to add in new elements, situations and characters... Any ideas you have will be greatly appreciated in the comments section below!
If you are just now tuning in, I recommend stopping right here and reading parts one and two of the story before continuing on:
https://steemit.com/science/@adsactly/adsactly-sci-fi-outer-earth-series-the-one-eyed-man-part-1
https://steemit.com/fiction/@adsactly/adsactly-sci-fi-outer-earth-series-the-one-eyed-man-part-2
Now I give you 'The One Eyed Man (Part 3)'
Outer Earth Series – The One Eyed Man (Part 3)
The one eyed man started blankly at the wall of his run-down apartment. The off colored white paint was peeling off in different sections and there were smudges and black marks scattered about it, marks that were made from repeatedly slamming his fist against it in anger and quite a few other marks likely made by previous tenants.
Similar feelings came back to him as he flashed back to those memories and pondered the shitstorm he had just been conscripted into.
What kind of ass beating was in store for him? He snapped his fingers and made a series of hand gestures.
The holoscreen flashed a string of encrypted numbers and letters for a few seconds and after a few moments revealed his updated quantum blockchain wallet balances.
It was a sight for sore eyes. The credits were there as promised. Enough to assemble a small team, purchase the gear required and book passage on a decent freighter. Probably quite a few credits to spare as well.
In fact, there were more than enough credits to disappear completely and live a nice life on an outer colony a lot better than this garbage dump commonly known as Nokia 6.
He wouldn’t last long, these guys would hunt him down like a dog and there was no doubt in his mind that the torture would be excruciating. Running meant death, a slow and painful kind of death that would be most undesirable.
At least if he gave the mission his best shot there was still a shot at a better life. With the right approach and a bit of luck, hell, he might even find a way out of this shitstorm and have a shot at settling down somewhere nice.
Grab a hot blonde wife, a dog or two and a little house with a white picket fence. A drama free life where he could be at peace and live happily ever after. Not for the one eyed man. He’d much rather have a harem full of exotic young women and a small army to do his bidding.
Years of pain, cruelty and disappointment had shattered any and all dreams of living a life that could even remotely be considered honorable. Of the many things you could call him, naïve he was not.
Sure, most sane people would call him a monster, a despicable human being that deserved what he had coming to him but he had his own code. He was honorable in a twisted sort of way. He’d never hurt a woman or a child. At least not one that didn’t have it coming. Morality can be a fickle thing after all.
The one eyed man knew better than to put his faith in governments, corporations, religious societies or people for that matter. In the end the common denominator was clearly greed, selfishness and self-hatred. Societies would come and go but human nature, he knew it all too well. Funny enough, none of that mattered now.
He had a job to do and it wasn’t going to end well if he didn’t get a move on.
It was afternoon now, the one eyed man had no doubt of the fact that this colony was a real dump, but he also felt it had a sort of charm to it in a way. Just like many of the other colonies in the sector it had a vibrant mining community, a few sprawling red-light districts and a fairly well developed commercial district.
But the community was lively and full of hope, odd when observing how oppressive the corporations were and how very few of these miners ever had a hope of getting out of this prison planet. The miners stuck together and were quite a bit of fun when you got them drunk enough!
The afternoon sun blazed a vibrant orange hue. The rads were enough to poison you if you were unfortunate enough to travel outside without wearing protective gear or dosing yourself with B36 an anti-radiation cocktail injected into the bloodstream that made you puke and see double vision if you dosed it too high.
The hyperloop underground tunnel system was a much better way to travel in the daytime if you didn’t mind dropping the credits to catch a ride. No need to slum it today...
The one eyed man spent an hour accessing the secure data packet that had been uploaded to his neural implant. There wasn’t too much to go on. There were a few pictures of Derek, known accomplices, a brief family history, no wife, no children. No opportunity to leverage a hostage...
There was nothing in it explaining why he had gone rogue, he looked like the typical employee. Was he a plant from a rival corporation? Did he have a grudge for some unknown reason? Was he simply a greedy bastard looking for the payday of all paydays?
Derek wasn’t all that much to look at either. He was average height with long wavy brown hair, thin lips and round nose.
He wore huge bifocals that definitely must have made it hard to score with the ladies but he probably did alright for himself considering the large number of credits he was banking with the outfit. It was confusing indeed.
‘Why Derek? What made you do it mate?’ the one eyed man muttered to himself.
He was last spotted on Pylon 5 when he was picked up by the scanners boarding a Diagon freighter. It could only be assumed he had the cargo with him. The passenger manifest showed that he was the only one on board besides the captain and its crew.
If Derek knew what was good for him, he would have kept his mouth shut. The captain and crew would be completely clueless as to the cargo they were transporting. They’d have no idea how much danger they were in. Heck, they may all be dead, who knows. The ship’s log said it was on route to Velimos 7 with just a quick pitstop at Feefee station in the Theta quadrant.
The one eyed man knew a hacker named Mork who kept a small office at a local sexbot speakeasy in town. Guess it was time to pay him a visit. Derek could be anywhere by now and the one eyed man’s employers were neither patient nor forgiving.
It was time to track down Derek and pay him a visit.
Final Thoughts
I know this chapter may have felt a bit slow but it has been my experience that the best stories need to create a certain amount of depth before they plunge their readers into the action.
At this point in the story its sort of hard to tell whether the main character is a hero or a villain or at least thats my hope. Shades of grey are always more fun to work with then straight forward black and white in my opinion.
In the next chapter I will introduce some new characters and take a shot at some fun and witty banter between them. This is an area I have less experience with so I expect it will be more than a bit challenging.
Do you feel the tension, the anticipation? Do you relate at all with the one eyed man? It is my hope that I've got you hooked now. Sorry for the cliffhanger!
I'd very much like to know your thoughts this story so far and what about it you may have liked or didn't like. Thanks so much for reading!
Authored by: Zentalk
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Thank you!
I enjoyed reading your journal notes about your writing process. The story is excellent because the no-nonsense prose paints an ethereal and futuristic atmosphere. I think it needs a bit more dialogue, but this is something that you already mentioned in your Final Thoughts. Great job!
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Thank you so much. This really means a lot to me. I'm happy you have enjoyed the story up until this point. I really wanted to take readers to this futuristic dystopian universe before stacking characters and dialogue but I may need to revisit this in future stories. I suppose its no problem to mix up the order and start with some situational scenes before running a proper backstory / introduction phase.
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I like the way you've been introduced to our main character, The One-Eyed Man, not only has a past that has apparently made him what he is, but a mysterious future awaits him. I imagine that you will continue to investigate that past. Likewise, by presenting the society in which he lives, we can observe the chaos, dehumanization, and anarchy that may exist in the streets. Derek enters the scene, surely this will allow us to have more information and the story goes into action. Thank you for sharing, @zentalk
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Absolutely. It is a darker world than the one we live in today, a world which future generations may find themselves living in or something alike to it. Derek will take a bit of work to track down but its pretty obvious some sort of conflict will ensue eventually. Thanks for reading it.
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I appreciate that in this episode you have made a presentation of the psychology of the protagonist, necessary to enter into his characterization and behavior. Obviously, he is not a classic hero, in any case, an antihero. He is an abject, vile character (although we still don't know part of his life, especially that which makes the threat hang over his head), as usually corresponds to a hitman. Anyway, you have to keep in mind what Poe said for the story: to achieve the only effect, for which you have to avoid unnecessary delays and deviations. You have the challenge of presenting Derek, the object of the mission that Albright must fulfill. Go ahead! Greetings.
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Absolutely. The kind of 'breaking bad' antihero can be quite interesting. Can we find ourselves liking what we would normally consider a bad guy if forces around him make him look quite noble and good? Delays are unfortunate but sometimes necessary, keeping the plot logic and moving the story along at a pace that is stimulating but comfortable and believable for readers is a necessary part of DPOV (Deep Point of View) writing. Derek will get sorted eventually. The main character will need to put a few pieces of the puzzle together first and prepare. Get ready, the next chapter is coming soon! Thanks for following this.
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Hi, @adsactly!
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I wrote a small Story :)
Do check it out please and vote if you like it .
https://steemit.com/fiction/@affaannasir/the-young-writer
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