Challenge #01648-D187: Person Man

His wardrobe contained among other things, a mask, full body suit that looked like rubber, spandex tights, spandex briefs, lots of spandex. Custom made purple boots and, Well he called it his utility belt but there was no way they were going to touch till the bomb squad And a competent psychiatrist got there. In memory of all those Cheesy Adam West Batman episodes. -- Knitnan

Half a building had collapsed, but the good news was that it was condemned and no lives were lost. The better news was the partially-intact meth lab, hydroponic weed garden, and a small opioid factory visible within. And the best news was the captive gang tied up like christmas presents on the sidewalk. All tethered to a handy fire hydrant.

The bad news was the Hero.

He stood between the ambulance and the fire truck with an air of exaggerated patience in the face of outrageous delays. Shifting his weight from foot to foot and sighing in the manner of all people who had been ready ten minutes ago and are now waiting for the other people on the trip to get their metaphorical shit together. But that wasn't the primary concern.

His wardrobe contained among other things, a mask, and a full body suit that looked like rubber. Custom made purple boots and... Well. He called it his utility belt, but there was no way they were going to touch it until the bomb squad and a competent psychiatrist got there. They had, however, handcuffed him and set one officer to hold a gun on him until someone with Authority had finally arrived.

Calloway was the latest link in the chain of command.

He was amazingly scrawny for a Hero. No comic book Super Pecs here. Almost her own height, but a fraction shorter. All those muscles were sculpted on. He had to be a real weed in regular clothing. And much shorter without those built-up boots.

Calloway's first words to him were, "You did all of this?"

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded in recognition and respect. "Purely an accident, my sleep gas grenade ignited their other meth lab set-up. I'd pay for the damages, but this building was slated for demolition. Is it illegal to give the construction industry a helping hand?"

"It's still destruction of property. We'll have to see if the owner wishes to press charges and-- wait. You have sleep gas grenades?" Her gaze went to the empty holster at his hip.

"And smoke bombs, tangle-nets, and a few other non-harmful methods of detaining the criminal element. Including the taser that this fine city's officers have temporarily confiscated. The true crimefighter always carries everything they need in their utility belt, ma'am."

There was a camera on his chest. And another four on his helmet, in the cardinal directions. "You willing to give up the footage from those?"

"Yes, ma'am. After I've purged the metadata of anything that can lead back to my secret identity. I have a personal responsibility to the people I love to keep them safe from any repercussions related to my activities as a Hero of the City. But rest assured that the footage will remain otherwise unaltered and unedited."

Okay. That was his legal right, more's the pity. "Fine. What's your handle?"

He couldn't strike a heroic pose in handcuffs, but he still tried it. "By the light of the moon, I am called... Person Man!"

Oh good gravy. "Is that belt of yours rigged?"

"With a shock to deter criminals from removing it. I had yet to upgrade my bandolier in such a fashion, which is why it, too, is also temporarily confiscated."

He seemed pretty firm on the 'temporary' state of the confiscations. "Let me guess. You have official licenses for everything you have on you."

"Including the lockpicks, ma'am. It's unfortunate that, in the pursuit of the law, some lawless activities are vital."

Where did he get his script? Adam West? Vigilantism was not exactly legal in this town, but there were ways to wriggle around the law. Which meant enlisting this Hero - his handle identity - as a Confidential Informant. Retroactively. Calloway sighed and texted her boss as a warning. "What can you do? What are your superpowers?" It was way beyond time to test how much of a lunatic this guy was.

"I'm deceptively strong," he said. "That's about it. The suit's bulletproof, not me. Though I prefer that information to not get around. You understand. I've practiced parkour, and some martial arts, but strength is the quality that set me on my path to becoming a hero."

"Can you demonstrate?" This was where the bullshit usually fountained forth. "Your super strength, that is."

He didn't even blink. "May I destroy these handcuffs? Usually, I try to maintain a healthy respect for others' property, but it is the closest object I can demonstrate with."

She said, "Go ahead," only because she didn't believe he could do it.

Person Man snapped the handcuffs' chain, then brought his wrists around to his front so that he could break off the cuffs. Then he crouched to scoop up the scattered parts and squeeze them into a ball. He handed the ball to Calloway. "I do believe this is recyclable, ma'am."

Screw her boss. This was going to need the mayor.

For the first time in history, they had an actual, bonafide superhero in their midst.

[AN: You can't have spandex and a full-body rubber suit. Just saying.]

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / julos]

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