There was this one abandoned space station where humans liked to paint graffitis and do other illegal stuff. When authorities find out they started to patrolling this place. After months of punishments, fines and even prison owners finally rebuild whole place and even let humans paint on special walls. It was this moment when illegal started to be legal. The very next day there was giant graffiti inside the biggest and most secured space station in the whole galaxy. -- Anon Guest
If you build it, a Human has already written something on it. -- Edge Territory saying.
Though it is widely accepted that literacy is one of the essential steps towards civilisation in general, and space-travelling in particular, it's the Humans who've made a big deal out of leaving their mark. No structure is so remote, too neglected, or too risky to both visit and write upon.
It's so endemic to the species that the rest of Galactic Society has surrendered in the form of Designated Graffiti Walls. None of which existed on Nonesuch Station. For the matter, neither did other things like air, power, intelligent life, or any kind of safety whatsoever when visiting the site. Nevertheless, Humans came, they saw, they scribbled.
It wasn't even wisdom of the ages, though some examples were profound. Passing ships, for example, would see in twenty-DU[1]-high letters, YAZ IS A WONKER! Whilst others safely investigating the labyrinthine remains had to traverse twenty-three junctures, jumpstart fifteen doorways, and crawl through fifteen collapsed bulkhead tangles to find, in neat and small print, You came a really long way to find this! Here is your prize! and a crudely-drawn picture of a penis[2].
However, in space, nothing is wasted. The exact conditions surrounding this abandoned structure were prime conditions for fabricating specific materials. Therefore, steps were taken to refurbish the establishment and return it once more to habitable condition. Humans largely viewed this change as ruining their fun. Therefore they made it their life's goal to (a) get there, (b) get somewhere implausible, and (c) leave a message.
This was, of course, highly dangerous for the Humans, and the body corporate refurbishing Nonesuch were legally obliged to ensure the safety of any cogniscent in their site - permitted or non. This quickly lead to a rapidly escalating arms race of sorts in which one side enacted increasingly elaborate security measures and the other enacted increasingly ridiculous heists to get past them.
It wasn't even that Nonesuch's eventual purpose was that secretive, special, or rare. There were other stations fulfilling the exact same purpose all over Alliance space. It was that this one was one trying to keep the Humans out. Therefore, getting in was worth it.
Or it was, until such time as Nonesuch opened for official, public access. Officials were bought in for the ribbon cutting and the official first opening of the docking airlock to the main customs lobby. There, on the inaugural tour, a Human had proved that every prevention measure in the known universe was moot. They had spraypainted their proof across the welcoming mosaic.
Their message?
We got past U! Nerny nerny ner ner!
[1] The Standard Distance Unit is roughly equivalent to a Terran meter.
[2] According to encounter records, someone else later changed it into a cat.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / dndavis]
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Pffft all that effort and they can't even leave a sensible message or at least cool art XD
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Humanity in a nutshell, folks.
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