makes me very excited!"
[Consider everything that follows this Disclaimer to be fictional and solely the product of my deviant, overactive imagination and warped, wise-a$$ sense of humor.
If anything happens to resemble a real event or person, consider that to be purely coincidental.]
Awhile back, I set out to finally submit a "Hello World" Introductory post to all the places where I was a member and contributed content.
Of course, that only applied to the platforms still in business.
Over the years , I've seen platforms come and go, rise and fall.
Some simply vanished without a trace - taking with them all the user wallets filled with hard earned creator rewards. (a la Weku).
A series of meticulously planned and methodically executed pump and dumps at a dubious exchange with strong ties to a certain platform's CEO yielded the CEO big profit windfalls while simultaneously squeezing every ounce of value from his members earnings that he could.
Finally, claiming that the members had made the platform too toxic to continue, he made his exit.
Again, user wallets and tokens went "Poof" - instant vaporware. (classic AssEnndUp tactics)
Taking "weird platform development" to the next level, some sites evolved into an online sanctuary for their isolationist cult members. (Publiq or is it "Pulique")
Others, seeking freedom from an oppressive new master, left and created a cloned home of their own sans the unfair tyranny and centralized power they'd left behind.
Well guess what?
Hive.blog has effectively outdone their nemesis Steemit by successfully creating a modern day, digital version of an Uber-Fascist Fourth Reich.
On Hive, I've been gang-downvoted to the point where the same popular, high-quality post that quickly earned rewards and recognition on other sites is swarmed by the same band of group-downvoting reprobates within minutes of posting.
Any prior rewards are instantly neutralized (zeroed out).
The end result is a high-quality post with little to no chance of ever trending or adding tokens to my wallet.
If uploading past cross-posts and scheduling them for future release wasn't so easy, I probably would've quit Hive a long time ago; vowing to never contribute to the Hive ecosystem ever again.
Not really sure how long I will continue this masochistic ritual.
I'm really growing tired of the toxic atmosphere and sanctioned bullying that I can do nothing about.
The powerful cabal of Hive Gestapos and the suspect governance ensures that the most rewards go to a select few within the centralized power structure.
Anyone not behaving like a good little Nazi can easily become the next target.
And once a target is chosen, the ousting routine is rinsed and repeated - character assassination, group downvoting, reputation erosion to the point where further posts are rendered invisible to others, etc.
The perps get away with it Scott free and continue controlling the masses via intimidation and coercion.
But enough with the dead, broken or dying platforms, it's time to get back on topic: "The Intro that Never Was..."
TBH, the only reason I didn't use this version of my "Better late than never Intro - even if it's 5 years late?" beforehand is because I thought it was lost forever when a storm caused a sudden, large scale blackout (called brownouts in Asia).
Days later, with power restored, I was too lazy to attempt a full rewrite and uploaded a one paragraph, plain vanilla introductory post instead.
Fortunately, I stumbled upon the intro this morning.
It had been automatically uploaded from my desktop's RAM to a Cloud Storage that I seldom need to access.
In short, the file wasn't destroyed and lost forever, just "temporarily misplaced".
So, without further adieux, I present "The Intro that Never Was..."
"Lights! Camera! Cue Sound! [the sound of trumpets begin blaring the theme from "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom", then fade out for segue].
Annnnd...action!
During a clip of wild animals killing defenseless prey (or frantically humping each other, or whatever, it all looks the same, no?), the sleep-inducing, monotone voiceover of Marlin Perkins says," we have a special show lined up for you this week."
"You won't want to miss this rare glimpse into the life of this reclusive species.
But first, an important message from our sponsor..."
[STOP! All the above was just me indulging in some silliness. But you got to admit, it was "amusingly different", right?]
Now, with all jokes aside, my important message for you is really this: If I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you before, I'm truly delighted to make your acquaintance now.
To my old friends:
"Great to see you again!
And...uhm...ehr...can you please feed the dogs and water my plants before you leave?
No, really.
The cactus died. And during my last manic episode, I over-trimmed the $5,000, multi-generational Bonsai Tree.
I just couldn't help my OCD self!
Nothing looked symmetrical enough for me, so I kept snipping away at each branch until all that remained was a toothpick-sized trunk and a couple frail twigs where strong branches used to be.
Funny thing.
With just the right lighting from the morning sun, the pathetic little thing has an uncanny resemblance to an underage, anorexic Gucci model on the tail end of a 72 hr. METH-fest!
Don't ask me how I know 'cause I can't tell you.
No really. I'd tell you if I could. But I must've been roofied cause I don't remember a damn thing. No matter how hard or how many times I try, I get zip, nada - nothing.
[And I can - with a 100% clear conscience - truthfully declare to you right and right now that word for word, I told the Police Detectives EXACTLY the same thing!]
Ahem...
Ok, with the greetings, shout-outs and respectful props out of the way, I leave you with the perfunctory Micro-Bio, aka #whothehellami stuff:
Retired in 2004 at age 40; residing on an island paradise with my daughter, girlfriend and two dogs; enjoying an eclectic array of hobbies and interests (most of them too boring or bizarre for most folk).
Submitted for your entertainment.
May you and yours be well and loving life today!
In Lak'ech, JaiChai
(JaiChai 03 Nov 2022. Simultaneous multi-site submissions posted. All rights reserved.)