Living on the moon sucks.

The restaurants have good food, but there's simply no atmosphere.

Ever since I started living on the moon I've regretted every minute of it.

Source: Pixabay.com

I first became an expatriate of planet Earth in the year 1962.

I never actually intended to become an expatriate but as it turned out, a small group of aliens had converted their spaceship so that it looked exactly like a VW Beetle.

Noticing that the back door of the Beetle was unlocked, I let myself in to smoke a doobie in peace.

I leaned all the way down in the back as a young man and woman got in the front seat and started to drive off.

"Oh crap!" I thought to myself. "I wonder where we're going.? And do these guys not smell that potent pot smell?"

It didn't matter. I was high as hell. So when we drove up into the sky, I figured everything was copacetic and my high was just cool as ice.

It wasn't until we actually landed at Frank's Moon Pizza Pie and Ice Cream Rodeo Trampoline Factory for Particularly Unfair mice that my high started to wear off.

"That's odd. I don't seem high but I must be."

It seems strange to say, but as I watched a black and white striped mouse cheat a young troubled man out of his large pepperoni pizza, I somehow knew that I wasn't.

It turns out that there several breathable small gravity based areas on the moon that are hidden by invisibility cloaks.

That's fortunate for me because I wasn't really thinking about gravity when I jumped out of the back of the Beetle and ran for my life.

Needless to say, I got left behind here.

I've been working as a waiter at Pete's Petrol and Petrified Pool Parlor for about 10 years.

Apparently time moves at a different speed on the moon than it does on Earth so I don't really know how much time has passed.

Will I ever go back to Earth?

I don't know.

Living on the moon sucks but not as bad as the my roommates back there.