A Shot in the Dark

“Hey, Johnie,” Karma said as her boss walked through the door. She tried to act innocent.
“Get out of my way,” Johnie replied. “I’ve got to pee.” Hunched over, he walked like a penguin toward the back of the salon.
“Well, good morning to you, too.” She preoccupied herself with her clipper attachments and pretended to pout.
Johnie sighed and turned around. “Karma, don’t go all Sylvia Plath on me.” He tapped his foot involuntarily. “We can be besties in a minute. But right now I’ve got a venti Hazelnut Latte springing holes in my bladder.”
He turned and hurried to the restroom. “Good grief, who put all this crap in front of the door.” He started throwing brooms and mops and boxes of toilet paper.
“Yikes,” Karma said. She ran over to help. “Sorry, Johnie. We were cleaning out the storage closet last night. I came in early to put it all up. I just hadn’t got there yet.”
“It’s fine.” Johnie was breathing heavy. “Just move this stuff. I’m dying here.”
Karma shoved the last box out of the way then stepped back and waited.
Johnie threw open the bathroom door, flipped on the light, and screamed at the man staring back at him. “Oh, mercy.”
He grabbed his heart and crossed his legs. “Mercy, mercy, mercy.” He cursed, walked into the bathroom, and slammed the door.
Karma doubled over in laughter. His reaction was everything she’d hoped for. Soon, she heard him flush and turn on the sink. When he opened the door, she was there waiting.
“Karma,” he began, trying to remain calm. He was still drying his hands when he walked into the hall. “Why is there a six-foot cardboard cutout of Elvis freaking Presley in our bathroom?”
“Who?” Karma was still laughing.
“The King? By the throne?” Johnie yelled. “He practically said, ‘Boo, man.’ I think I’m having a coronary.” He dabbed at his forehead and tossed the wasted paper towel into the trash. “How I kept from peeing all over myself, Lord only knows. Do you realize I had to hold it through ten red lights and a school zone? Jesus, take the wheel.”
Karma tried to catch her breath. It was too much. “I swear, Johnie. You scream like a girl.”
“Yeah? Well, you dress like a boy. So, there.”
She laughed harder then tried to regain her composure. “Wait. Don’t you want to pull Elvis out of there? Corporate sent it. We’re supposed to put it in the lobby this month. Remember? The King of Spring promotion?”
“That promotion is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. I’m not putting that thing in the lobby.” Johnie walked back to his bag and started preparing his station. “Why did they have to use fat Elvis, anyway? I like Blue Hawaii Elvis.”
“You’re just gonna leave it in the bathroom?”
“Sure I am.” He checked his watch. “Winnie’s working today.”
The two of them shared a conspiratorial smile as Johnie started a pot of coffee.
An hour later, the waiting area filled with customers, including Winnie’s 10:00 AM appointment. At 10:13 AM, Winnie walked through the door.
“Glad you could make it,” Johnie said, half smiling, half sneering.
“Mmm hmm,” was all Winnie offered. “Where’s Karma?” she asked, noticing the young man waiting by the register.
“Out back grabbing a cigarette.”
Winnie shook her head. “Shareece, honey,” Winnie called to her first appointment, “you ready, baby girl?” Shareece, who actually looked closer to thirty, nodded and stood. “Same color?” Winnie asked her.
Shareece nodded again. Her hair was a vivid red, but her roots were ashy gray.
“Okay, then. Just sit over there, and let me check this boy out.” As she took the boy’s card and slid it through the machine, she peered out the storefront window. “Johnie, that white van is back again.” Her tone was more accusation than observation.
“What white van?” Johnie responded, focused on his current customer.
“You know what white van. The creepy white van that keeps backing into the empty space next door. They’re up to something. I know it.” She tried the boy’s card again.
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Johnie said and flipped on his clippers.
“Mmm hmm