This has the ring of authenticity to it... It sounds like a true memory, which is beautiful. However, in fiction you may--embellish somewhat. I had the feeling that you and Sagir had a close friendship, but suddenly he just "ran away" without a farewell or of describing his dreams his hopes to you. That part, I'm sorry, falls a bit flat. Also, you might describe why your relationship and your memory of him endured beyond others. What is his relevance to you who is writing now in the present. You understand? Clearly, something about him inspired you... that he quested for more than being a shepherd--right? So, describe how that relates to YOUR life, how that quality in him inspired you. That your hope for his future follows him. Goodluck, and nice effort! Keep writing!
RE: Memories From the Past | A Poor Shepherd
You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
Memories From the Past | A Poor Shepherd
Thank you so much for this amazing comment. He was just scared that i will tell my grand parents. I wanted to tell some stories about a boy. Shouldn't the writer has complete control how he wants to tell the story. As a story can be told in many ways and i believe as a writer i should have the freedom to proceed the story the way i want it to rather than go toward the way critic tells where it should go as it is my own creation not a critic's and i described that he saved my life. So thats why i remeber him.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit