[Edited by @michaelcj]

I'd seen many like him, but this one was different.

It happened today.

The time is now exactly midnight. Twelve - and some zeros, including the hero (yours truly).
The date, 14th of Nov, 2017. It's a peaceful day so far.

A little rain to match the rhythm of the trees who had seem to understand that setting a peaceful mood would be almost necessary to what I was in in for. Almost too peaceful... the wind was telling the earth something but I couldn't hear it because I was too occupied.
Too occupied with life. Too occupied with breathing. I was too occupied with life, because I was breathing.
I was too occupied with breathing, because I want to live.
Sometimes you have to breath, to live.
Occupy your lungs with air, or you'll never make it through this life.
Live to breath.
And well, breath to live.

Rewind to just a few hours ago and you'll see that I'm interfering in an argument my father is having with my 5 year old niece.
She wants Pancakes , our kitchen doesn't make pancakes. I understand his slight frustration so I grab her by the hand and walk her to the dining room. I sit down with her and ask her, "baby would you like some Pancakes ?". She looks up at me, smiles a little and nods her head gently back and forth before saying, "yes". In the most adorable voice I might add. So we go to shoprites hand in hand, where they couldn't have been happier to see us. Sun was shining (behind grey clouds) people were smiling (probably) and we got there just in time to wait for luke warm food that we ordered just a few minutes prior.
We drive back, she takes 2 bites and is out the door with her brother to go kick a ball around. All good, I eat some Pancakes.

A couple of hours later I decide to go ride on my skating shoes at a spot that takes about 20 minutes to get there.
A police officer instantly rolls up and asks a few questions but leaves after I assure him that I'm just skating. It was the truth. (There's nothing like knowing that if they search your car, you're good...) I leave after a bit and skate another spot closer to home. I land my trick right before the earth starts giving way and drive home. I'm sweaty, tired, and sober, so I stop at a gas station for some refreshments. I continue home and by now the rain has picked up.

The wind leads while tree branches trip over their leaves. They aren't very good dancers. I admire the uncoordinated beauty that surrounds me and I smile. I smile because I have accomplished what I set out to do, right in time. The weather is peaceful and I'm only slightly hurt from a fall I took earlier but I'm still happy. I'm at peace.

I arrive home and instantly open a beer. I run upstairs and open the bathroom door. I open the bathroom door to an unknown fight to the death, but I didn't know it yet. I flip the lights, but due to my dizziness, I would prefer the lights a little dimmer. No luck.
Someone had installed 2 of the brightest lights known to mankind and I was powerless. I look up at them and squint in slight pain while feeling around, trying to figure out where to unscrew them. No luck.
How many light sensitive people does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?... Probably more than one.
But unfortunately for me, there was more than just one in the bathroom with me. There were two, including me.
I was being watched. Mercilessly.

I give up on the lights and move to the shower. I turn the knob and water starts running.
You can hear that gentle breeze from earlier change it's mind into a howl and the cracks in the windows are accompanying them. I can almost smell the moisture in the air, while the shower faucet spills warm water. I turn my attention once more to the light at the ceiling and there he is.
There he is staring at me.
His legs move slowly, as if to intimidate me.
His antennas search side to side, back and forth hoping that my fear will give way and I'll faint to the floor, soon meeting my demise. But it won't. I'm a man god dammit.

He inches closer, upside down and I lock eyes with the biggest cock roach I've ever seen. This isn't what a lot of people refer to as water bugs either. This is a full grown cock roach on his way home from work. And he had had a rough day.

I'm stripped down to my boxers at this point but I run downstairs frantically to retrieve my weapon. A spray bottle with some shit that don't smell to good.

I run back upstairs and cautiously enter the bathroom.
"One toe in, bring it back!"
"Okay now the whole foot",
I tell myself then look to the ceiling. He isn't there.
Shit.
He isn't there.
I rush in with my spray bottle of shit that don't smell too good and frantically aim side to side. He has escaped.
Fear sets in.
I look up once again. Nothing.
I look over by where we keep our shower, water still running. Air still smells like water, but nothing.
I look to the left and behind the door quickly! Nothing.
I slowly turn right, aiming my spray bottle of shit that don't smell too good and there he is.
Slowly climbing down the wall, making his way to the floor.

I react. I quickly let of a not so warning shot and it's a direct hit. He screams in agony and drops to floor. His legs are frantically searching for traction and he's cold cold blood murder in his eyes while we make eye contact. I remain calm because I'm a man.
I instantly yell out and take a step back while frantically firing my bottle of shit that don't smell too good, but the trigger sticks!
I fire a couple of direct hits after he falls to the floor and the trigger sticks. In all my training, this wasn't covered. This is now a frantic fight to the death. The wind is howling, rain is pouring slightly, the shower is screaming at us and I'm in my boxers frantically thinking of my next move as he makes a run for my nieces room.
I must protect her.

With the spray bottle of shit that don't smell too good, I sweep him with a sweet ass sweep manoeuver and he slams into the counter. Violently. His back is against the wall and before he can shout out how he's going to murder me and everyone I love, I figure out the trigger, and unleash the fury that is my love. I berade him with shit that don't smell too good and he falls to the ground. I stand over him in his puddle of death, and with his last breath he mutters, "Why?"

"Why?" I reply.
"Because it's a good day to die cowboy".

---

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