Original Short Story :: Neoxian's Post-Apocalyptic Writing Contest

in fiction •  6 years ago  (edited)

(story preview only)
 

This is an entry for @neoxian's Prodigious and Desolate Post-Apocalyptic Writing contest.




Title image by @negativer using Canva

Join us at The Writers Block on Discord. A great community of writers there, helping each other get better at what they enjoy doing.

Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://negativerealm.com/hole-in-the-wall-original-short-story/

fiction postapocalyptic scifi shortstory writing
6 years ago by

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    • [-]
      ·  6 years ago 

    giphy (51).gif
    You just got splashed by @rewards-pool. For more information on delegating to the @rewards-pool click the following link.
    https://steemit.com/steemsilvergold/@rewards-pool/introduction-to-rewards-pool
    @rewards-pool where a small delegation can get you a big splash.

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    3 votes
    [-]
      ·  6 years ago 

    Hmmm, interesting, thank you for entering my contest!

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    3 votes
    [-]
      ·  6 years ago 

    Wow!

    Stirring! Disturbing!

    "...It’s the system. It’s the way it is...."

    AAAAaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!! :O

    And yet, a hopeful ending... :D

    Please say "Hey" in a comment below this one so I can vote for this again... :D

    😄😇😄

    @creatr

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    1 vote
    [-]
      ·  6 years ago 

    A small, terrible sacrifice at the end, but still a hopeful ending. Who knows which small sacrifice is the one that will change the world?

    Thanks much for reading!

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    2 votes
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      ·  6 years ago 

    50% vote delivered as a reward for being the runner up in my contest.

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      1 vote
      [-]
        ·  6 years ago 

      Thank you for another great read... :D

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        [-]
          ·  6 years ago 

        Hi @negativer. I have read this story several times now, but I wanted to find time to write a thoughtful response.

        Your writing voice is amazing. And your storytelling ability blows me away. I was so captivated by the way you wove the details together, developed the characters, built the conflict, and brought it to a final devastating conclusion.

        This is masterfully done. It paints a picture of what can happen when a few in power control the masses. Yet it is told meaningfully, within the microcosm of a frazzled family unit, where tensions are rising and a fundamental ideological disagreement is at play.

        In short, this story is a well-crafted parable, and a stunning illustration of the power of great storytelling.

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        1 vote
        [-]
          ·  6 years ago 

        Ah, it's so encouraging to hear you say something like this, knowing your skillset and how much I enjoy reading your stories as well.

        I did want to make a statement about big banks and money without it sounding too preachy, with a small view into how it all affects the innocent.

        My thanks for reading and for the uplifting comment, @jayna!

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        1 vote
        [-]
          ·  6 years ago 

        It is well-deserved! 😊

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          [-]
            ·  6 years ago 

          Dang!!! That was deep, very disturbing but also excellently written. So many thoughts were going through my mind as I read about the challenges along their journey. Is this one of the possible futures of crypto currency?
          The mark of the beast, no privacy, total control? . . .I need a drink.

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          2 votes
          [-]
            ·  6 years ago 

          There are a couple levels in here, you're right. The possible dark future of crypto, tracking, lack of privacy, banks with ultimate power...it's a scary future if so!

          Thanks for reading!

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            [-]
              ·  6 years ago 

            You're gonna blow her hand off with a shotgun?!?

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            1 vote
            [-]
              ·  6 years ago 

            One has to use the tools one has. 😬

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              1 vote
              [-]
                ·  6 years ago 

              ...at hand?

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                1 vote
                [-]
                  ·  6 years ago 

                Ha! I gotta hand it to you for that one.

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                  [-]
                    ·  6 years ago (edited)

                  Just excellent, @negativer! This could be a movie.

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                    [-]
                      ·  6 years ago 

                    Ooo, I like the sound of that :) Thanks for reading!

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                      1 vote