Memories From the Past | A Poor Shepherd

in fiction •  6 years ago  (edited)

Something in life happens like magic. You meet amazing people also by accidents. I am from a poor country from South Asia, where most of the people live below the poverty line. But, one thing is amazing about those poor people, they have enormous dedication to learn things and push things beyond the limit. Now I will tell you about a boy whom I met in my personal life. Although I haven't seen him for years and I still remember him. He is a hero to me and my savior.

When I was a kid, I used to spend most of the time at my grandparent's house as I was the only grand-kid who lived nearby them. They loved me a lot as I was a bit fat and cute and I have a problem with my eyes. In my country who has a slight asymmetric eye is counted as a person who brings luck for the family. So, there I was, the kid of six or seven years of age, eating milk and toast all the time.

Suddenly one day one boy came to their house. He would be something around ten years of old. It's pretty normal in my country that people take poor kids from their family and give them food 3 times a day and a bit of money. So, he used to work at my grandparent's house like a servant. His work was to look after the cattle, give them food and go to the market when my grandparents needed him to go, mostly everything except cooking. So, I got a new friend with whom I could hang out in the fields, go run around and come back home with my whole body with a strong muddy smell. He was the one who taught me how to climb on a tree and to pick mangoes in the mid-summer storms. We became friends day by day. I remember once he ran away from the house as he couldn't find one cow. But later we found out that some neighbor tied the cow to a tree as it was eating crops from his field.

By the way, his name was Sagir. One thing is sad to say, that those kids like him couldn't go to school as they had to work as well to maintain their family. Its a normal thing in my country which is very sad. After working all day, he came home tired. He used to swim in the pond in evening after all this hard work, and then he used to sit near me when my grandmother was teaching me the alphabets and what word in English meant what and he used to ask a lot of questions about them. He had an enormous quest for learning. He wanted to learn, he wanted to know things and once my grandma even caught him reading my books lighting a candle in his small room. But, lucky for him, then my grandmother started teaching him as well beside me.

My grandparent's house was big and there were a lot of servants and other guests who used to make the house clumsy. But, they had this huge area of land where they cultivated different kinds of fruit trees. One day when we ware walking through the garden, we noticed a big jackfruit and it was so ripe. We understood that if we take it back to home we won't get even a little portion of it. So, we decided to cut it from the rear end while still hanging on the tree and ate all of it and made it look like some birds ate it. Later my grandma complained that some bat ate the big jackfruit and we were trying too hard not to laugh. Like this one, we had a lot of memories together.

In my village kids used to play a game, something like, hide and seek in the water. So, the rule of the game is one person will chase a few people in the water and when he touches one of them then the person he touched will chase the others. As I didn't know how to swim, I used to sit on the shore of the canal and walk slowly to watch them play. We used to do that often. Sagir used to play this game. One day when they were playing I was trying to walk and it was slippery as it was monsoon time and as you guessed I fell in the water. It was deep and current was strong. I was trying to use my hands and legs desperately to make me float but I couldn't. That was the moment I came nearest to death and I still remember the feeling. That's an unexplainable feeling when you see all your past just in a second. Sadly, every year a lot of kids die in Bangladesh by falling in water. But, lucky for me Sagir saw me and he saved me. I have met a lot of people and forgot them but Sagir how could I forget him as he was my savior. On morning we wake up and Sagir was gone. We searched for him everywhere and we couldn't find him. Later we came to know that he ran away to another town where he found a shelter among the kids who didn't have parents. In Bangladesh, there are a lot of schools and places to live for those kids. I lost a friend but I am happy for him now when I think about it. He wanted more in life rather than just to be a poor shepherd.

I hope you liked my story. Let me know in comment and have a nice time
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This has the ring of authenticity to it... It sounds like a true memory, which is beautiful. However, in fiction you may--embellish somewhat. I had the feeling that you and Sagir had a close friendship, but suddenly he just "ran away" without a farewell or of describing his dreams his hopes to you. That part, I'm sorry, falls a bit flat. Also, you might describe why your relationship and your memory of him endured beyond others. What is his relevance to you who is writing now in the present. You understand? Clearly, something about him inspired you... that he quested for more than being a shepherd--right? So, describe how that relates to YOUR life, how that quality in him inspired you. That your hope for his future follows him. Goodluck, and nice effort! Keep writing!

  ·  6 years ago (edited)

Thank you so much for this amazing comment. He was just scared that i will tell my grand parents. I wanted to tell some stories about a boy. Shouldn't the writer has complete control how he wants to tell the story. As a story can be told in many ways and i believe as a writer i should have the freedom to proceed the story the way i want it to rather than go toward the way critic tells where it should go as it is my own creation not a critic's and i described that he saved my life. So thats why i remeber him.

Wait, wait, wait! I thought that Sagir was real and I too felt happy for he 😅

This is a great story, you write so good. I imagined everything, and you woke up feelings in me. After to read it now I'm more grateful with God for my life.

A big hug.

Thank you for the amazing comment. As a matter of fact, he is.

Hi rifkan,

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