Amazing Jumpers (Bullshit Research, Part 3)

Read Part 1, Part 2

Dr. Lemoine sits in her office. She’s bored. All her research papers are currently being peer reviewed and all she can do is wait. Just sit here and wait.

The sound of tiny paws running across the floor appears and something pushes open her door. With a frown, she peers over her desk. There is a dog. A tiny, fluffy, white dog. It sits there and wags its tail. It drools.

”Wiersbitzki!”, she calls out. ”What is this animal doing in my office?”

With a red face and slightly out of breath, her assistant comes running into her office.

”I’m so sorry, boss”, he pants. ”My boyfriend is at a conference this week and I can’t leave our new puppy alone at home. The little guy must have somehow freed himself of his collar and leash, I thought I had tied him to my chair! I’m so sorry!”

The tiny dog barks and Dr. Lemoine gives him a disapproving look. Suddenly, her eyes grow wide.

”It has flea! Did you see that? I saw one jump! That dirty beast dragged flea into my office!”

The assistant turns white as the wall behind him.

”Oh god. Oh god. I am so sorry.” He reaches for the dog which makes his sleeves slide back, revealing several red dots.

”You are bitten! You knew that thing is infested and you still brought him to work?” Lemoine is furious. Internally, she’s already going through a list of potential new assistants. She likes to keep a current list of all applicants so she can find a replacement as soon as it’s necessary.

Dr. Lemoine is about to utter the words necessary to get rid of her incompetent employee when suddenly a thought crosses her mind.

”Wiersbitzki”, she says. ”Get a box and catch some of those flea. And then go catch a cat from the street and do the same.”

The assistant knows better than to ask. He senses that he barely escaped the termination of his well-paid contract.

”On it!” He says and leaves the office, his flea-infested dog secured under his arm.

It takes some hours but soon Dr. Lemoine and her assistant are sitting in front of a table with two boxes. One contains cat flea, Ctenocephalides felis felis, the other dog flea, Ctenocephalides canis. A cylindric tube is placed in the middle of each box. Tensely, the scientists stare at the tiny animals.

”That was 10 cm”, Dr. Lemoine notes, impressed. ”Increase the height of the tube by another centimeter. I want to know how high these bloodsuckers can jump.”

The assistant obliges and increases the height of the tube the tenth time. And then the eleventh. When it reaches 18 cm, the cat flea can no longer overcome the barricade. The dog flea manage to conquer the 25 cm tube but then surrender too.

”We can conclude”, Dr. Lemoine says, ”that dog flea are a lot better at jumping than cat flea. That’s another paper I can turn in for review. Well done.”

The assistant is just happy he gets to keep his job.

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Disclaimer: The “Bullshit Research” series is based on actual scientific papers. While the results are accurate, the way of testing and the people involved are fictional.

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Source:

“A comparison of jump performances of the dog flea, Ctenocephalides canis, and the cat flea, Ctenocephalides felis felis,”

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Picture taken from pixabay.com

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