The gray-haired, grim-looking man is staring at me as I flop in the chair across the desk from him.

“Shall we get started?” he asks. I flash him my killer grin but he remains stolid. “You know why you’re here, correct?”

I nod seriously, trying to keep from laughing. I’m here because I caused a bit of a stir at a local nightclub and my over-protective parents think I need to be saved from myself.

He glances at the folder in front of him, turning page after page. I didn’t realize they had a file on me. I don’t even know who they is. My folks? The po-po? Nightclub owners of America?

Finally, he glances up. “You’ve been a very busy teenager. But I always feel the more I know about a person, the more likely it is that I can help them. I think we should talk about your life.”

Well, damn. This could take some time. I have a very active life. “How long you got?” I ask, throwing my grin at him again. Sooner or later, he’s bound to succumb. Everyone does.

“As long as it takes,” he replies. “For today, how about an hour.”

“Okay. Where do you want to start?”

“Where do you want to start?” he replies, clasping his hands in front of him as he leans back in his fine leather chair. I know it’s leather because I can smell it.

“Maybe I should start with how amazing I am. I mean, look at me. I’m six foot two, smoky brown eyes, face of an angel and sexy as a devil.” Another toothy grin. No response. Let’s see if I can shock Dr. Whats-his-name. Maybe I can even elicit a response!

OOO

This is some good shit, I think, taking a deep pull on the joint bestie Tyler has fired up. A little buzz on a Malibu beach under the light of a full moon is a sweet thing indeed. To my left, lying on a towel, is my girlfriend, Kayla. I pass the joint to her although she’s even more buzzed than I am. But that’s okay. I’ll take care of her. Hell, I can take care of everyone.

I’m celebrating because I’ll be eighteen in a couple of days and the rudder of my own life - finally. But Kayla thinks I’ll be twenty-three, so I can’t exactly tell her how happy I am about turning a mere eighteen. It’s complicated. But everything about my life is.

By day, I’m employed as a werewolf, um, actor, on a popular television series – The Werewolf Chronicles. Maybe you’ve heard of it? No, okay, well anyway, I had an in for the job through my bio daddy - he’s the big star. Well, he was back in the 1940s. Now, he’s just the romantic lead on a nighttime soap opera. But hey, it beats tying knots on my step-father’s fishing boat.

By night I party with my friends who are convinced I’m a worldly adult while, at the same time, pretend to be the world’s most naive teenager to my half-sister and her husband, who also happens to be my biological father. Like I said, it’s complicated.

Unfortunately for me, I have so many secrets I hardly know what’s real any longer. I’ve been living with my sister, Aubrey, and my bio Dad, since I was sixteen. I can tell my best girl, Kayla, would like a more permanent situation. If she knew my actual age, she’d most likely kick me to the curb as she’s looking for someone older and wiser to settle down and have babies with. We hooked up when I was only sixteen - oops, my bad. Kayla plays a werewolf on the show as well – that’s how we met. She was my first. She won’t be my last. Why settle for just a salad when there’s a whole buffet to choose from?

It’s not my fault that I inherited my father’s ability to attract the opposite sex. They love me. The all love me. I’m not being conceited - they really do. I can have my pick of the litter, any litter. But Kayla’s fine for now. We’re crazy about each other and in bed, well, we’re just plain crazy.

Tyler’s asking me if want another hit. Sure, I tell him. It’s my party and I’ll fly if I want to. “Come here, KayKay,” I say with a giggle. Yep, I’m stoned. No two ways about it. She flops on my chest and plays with my hair. She says I have good hair. I also inherited that from my father. My good looks, I could claim, come from a combination of my parents, both of which are smokin’ hot and haven’t aged a day since I’ve known them. That’s mostly due to what they call a nutritional supplement that they take on a weekly basis. Someday, I’ll take the cure myself. But not yet. I certainly don’t want to stay a teenager forever - way too many hormonal changes going on.

Tyler grouses that it’s getting late and reminds me that we need to get up early in the morning. “You sound like my old man,” I whine. By old man, I mean one, Josh Turner, my step-dad who raised me, not Dimmy Trent, who was my mom’s sperm donor. Sis told me that I was conceived during a one night stand with her husband. Yeah, my half sister married my bio-dad. Confused yet? I sure am.

But Tyler is right, so we gather up our beach crap and our girls and pile into the new car my Bio Dad gave me for my birthday. A sleek, black BMW, my daddy gives good gifts. Tyler is practically carrying his girlfriend to the car she’s so shit-faced. I can’t even remember her name – Betheny or Britney or Babs - some kind of B name.

We head out on the highway where I can open up my birthday present a bit. The night air assaulting my face feels good after the steamy salt air of the beach. I feel like I could drive all night but I know if I’m late for work the director will have a fit, which means that Sis and Dad will also have a fit.

Pulling into Tyler’s driveway, I help him carry his semi-comatose girlfriend to the door. “See ya tomorrow,” I call as I shut the door behind me. Next stop - Kayla’s. I back carefully out of his driveway, making sure I don’t run over his mailbox. Did that once before, before I actually had a driver’s license. I think he’s still pissed at me a little over it.

“Stay with me tonight,” Kayla coos in a soft, sexy voice as she snuggles next to me, her beautiful ice blond hair casting about wildly in the wind.

“I can’t, baby. I’m sorry,” I say. Although I’m almost officially an adult now, I don’t know what my sister’s reaction will be to my spending the night with a girl. And I don’t want this night to be the one where I find out.

I pull into her driveway and turn off the lights. Don’t want to wake up her flaky roommate. That girl is insane sometimes. Kayla pulls me in for another sloppy kiss. “Please?” she says, her eyes pleading with me as I gently pull her off of me.

“I promised them I’d be back by midnight.” Oops. Shouldn’t have said that.

“You’re almost twenty-three years old, Blue,” she whines at me. “Why do you let them treat you like a kid?” I hate it when she gets all needy like this. Can’t she just enjoy the moments we share? She kisses me again and says, “Why don’t you move in with me?”

Woah! Did she just say that or am I still high? I laugh, not sure just how to respond. I’m pretty sure Sis would go ballistic if I moved in with a girl. And honestly, why milk one cow when you can drink from the entire herd?

Deciding that totally ignoring what I just heard is the best way to proceed, I say, “Hey, baby, you need help getting inside?” Anything to get off of this topic. She leans over and gives me a big, sloppy tongue-thrusting kiss. Normally, that would be enough for instant arousal, but her bringing up the topic of moving in has shot that possibility down. I’m not ready to move in with anybody. At least I don’t think I am. She pulls the handle and opens the door, limply removing herself from my car.

“Goodnight,” she says, leaning against the car for stability, her beautiful blue eyes glassy and unfocused. “I love you, Blue.”

“Love you too,” I say, not completely sure it’s actually true, but that’s what chicks want to hear, right? As she waddles drunkenly toward her door, I put the car in reverse and back out as far as the end of the driveway. I wait until she’s safely inside, though. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do. I learned all about being a gentleman from my bio Dad. Actually from both my fathers. Of course, my step-dad would have walked her to the door and made sure she was safely inside. He’s so old school. Nowadays, bitches are doing it for themselves. Besides, I’m way too shit-faced to stand on ceremony tonight.

Just in case the good doc doesn’t have the low-down on my looney fam, I decide to lay it out for him. My mother, Lee Baker Reiner, married Josh Turner. They had a little girl they nickname Pink Stuff (my sister, Aubrey). Then, fast forward three years and my Mom goes and has an affair with my father because of a delayed flight out of Norfolk, gets knocked up and has me. Then Sis falls in love with my father at seventeen. They get hitched and eventually have twins. And me? I’m the twins’ babysitter!

I laugh at the conundrum that is my family. The doc does not.

Then, I decide to drop the bombshell. Leaning forward in my chair, I look around conspiratorially. This is the biggest secret of all – the one I dare not tell anyone.

“I come from a long line of witches and warlocks.”

The doc blinks. Well, it’s a start. “I think that’s enough for today. Let’s pick this up, say tomorrow, same time?”