This post is made in response to Steemit In Nigeria (SIN2) objectives to help communities attend the conference in Abuja which has been slated to hold between 30th October to 4th November, 2018.
Therefore, all Steem Dollars generated would be used to make SIN2 conference a success.

Credit

A long long time ago, my aunty and her husband, their two sons and I had gone out for an ice-cream treat. It was sometime when I was always thinking of curbing unnecessary expenditure.
My sister who is a selfless person, who was too much in love with her family; not to deny them of any pleasure. “I always chose to sacrifice my own excesses, and it didn’t even feel like a sacrifice ever, because I was a woman of very few needs, she said.”

So, when her husband asked each one of us to choose our favorite flavor of ice-cream, she responded as usual, “I won’t have any.”
The boys enjoyed one round and ordered another; yet her response remained the same, “I don’t want any.”
She was really happy because the family’s happiness is important to her being and existence. She was happy that she could sacrificed for her loved ones.

But her husband looked at her and said, please don’t do this to yourself and to us. I want a happy wife; not a sacrificial lamb. I have seen that too much sacrifice eventually leads to bitterness and traumatization. And I sure as hell do not want you to develop that.
You see, after a period of time, the boys and I will stop asking you for your choice, because we will assume that you don’t want it; we will take you for granted and subconsciously start treating you as a dormant... It will then hurt you.. and you will feel miserable and unimportant. You will think that we don’t care about you.
While in truth we would be behaving naturally, knowing from experience that you don’t care for yourself. That your wishes are not important..

So, I suggest that you always take your share and then if you really don’t like it, share it with someone who does. That will be good for all of us. You will learn how to claim your importance in your own and our eyes and we will always ask you. There will be happiness all around.
His suggestion made sense to me and I couldn’t help but think about many older women who always complained, “I did so much for so and so but today they don’t even think/ care for me again.”
I also remembered many instances where children would turn back and say, “But why did you do so much? Did we ask you for it? You did it because it made you happy. Who asked you to be so self-sacrificing?”
This train of thought made me take a retrospective look at the word “self-less”, equating it with “self-sacrifice”. That day, the meaning of these words opened up for me.

Self-sacrifice is not the balanced way!!!

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Written by @bollutech and edited by @mediahousent
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