“You know it doesn’t look good for me to be here alone with you.” There was tension in his voice, like he was irritated about something- was it really just about the door? I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t have come in. Suddenly I felt like just a student again. He wasn’t looking at me with warmth or closeness, just collected but strained. I felt embarrassed. I wondered if maybe I had overstepped. I changed the subject to the educational, leaning over and taking a paper I’d done from my school bag.
“Can you give me advice on this? I’m wondering if maybe it’s too...I don’t know have a look at it.” I passed it to him and leaned closer as he skimmed it.
“It’s fine.” He handed it back to me after just a minute’s glance.
“Okay, you seem busy I’ll head out now. Thanks!” I caught the mood and stood up to leave. I glanced over my shoulder at him. He looked so tense. I couldn’t help it, I had to pry a bit.
“Hey are you okay?” I asked walking back over to him. He stood up from his desk and again I felt that strong pull to go to his arms, to melt into him and get as close to him as I could. I couldn’t stop myself, I had to feel some contact so I took his hand. My heart was pounding.
“I’m fine. It’s just it hasn’t been the easiest time for me. It’s been really hard the past two months. I’ve been trying my best to support her. And I come here and you’re just...so tempting, you’ve been getting closer, teasing me relentlessly day after day.”
I couldn’t say anything, I just looked at him in awe. I hadn’t even realized. There was a very tense pause. I couldn’t stop myself, I went to him. He didn’t hold me at first, just stood stiffly, but then he broke down and grabbed me, holding me tightly to him. I started to cry, telling him over and over that I really liked him, that I wanted to be with him. I kissed him with tears running down my face and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing me back and running his hands over my body. Then abruptly he stopped, pulled back from me.
“You should go.”
“Please.” I begged.
“I can’t. This is wrong.”
“Please, can you just drive me home then?”
I begged a little more and he gave in. He left the classroom first, telling me he’d drive around front and pick me up. I waited for him there, thinking of what I could do. I knew I wanted it, I was pretty sure that he wanted me too. My heart was beating so fast I felt dizzy. I kept wondering over and over if it was really happening, if maybe he wouldn’t come get me, but then his car appeared and he leaned over and opened the door for me.
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