The Popular Depression is a book I wrote in my first year of college.

It was inspired by a cigarette pack on a coffee table that I noticed at a house party.

My eyes were drawn to the Health Canada warning on the box of cigarettes.

I think the statistic about tobacco-related deaths was supposed to be the scary one. But, for some reason, I was more alarmed by the fact more people died by killing themselves than by getting into car accidents.

I never did anything with the book I wrote. Looking back, some of the amateurish writing makes me cringe. But, the concept behind The Popular Depression is an important theme for us to think about.

Here is the twenty-fifth chapter from The Popular Depression.

---

Chapter 25

Ethan never went back to school after Christmas break. His days have been spent at home… watching Vincent’s collection of DVDs. Ethan looks through the movie selection and then realizes he has seen every movie that Vincent owns. He starts to cry. Not because he has nothing to watch, he cries because of what his life has become. Money that he had received from relatives has almost all been used up on his cocaine addiction. He’s missed a week of school and has probably fallen way behind. He is unsure if he will ever return; therefore, he is unsure if he will graduate. He hasn’t responded to any of his mother’s phone calls. Every voicemail message she leaves him just makes him feel more and more guilty. He never got his little sister anything for Christmas. He knows that Liberty has probably heard all about his downfall, and he can only imagine what she must think of him. He hasn’t spoken to TJ Carp, the one person who may still be his friend despite all of this. And he hates Jared Winston so much that he has actually thought of killing him. Somehow… he hates himself even more.
Ethan wipes the tears off of his face when he hears Vincent come through the doors.
“Honey, I’m home,” Vincent says as he takes his shoes off.
Ethan doesn’t reply.
“What’s the matter, rough day at work?” Vincent asks sarcastically.
“You’re hilarious, Vince.”
“I try. So get this… I was at work today and one of the guys in the shop told me that the Cougars almost lost to LCI last night. I guess LCI was up by two points with three seconds left. TJ in-bounded the ball from his own end and he passed it to Jared. Jared dribbled to half court and then let a shot go. He nailed it. CCH won 86-85.”
Ethan clenches his teeth, he wonders why Vincent is telling him this.
“I don’t understand why that bastard has so much luck. I mean, after everything he did to you, you’d think that karma would bite him in the ass,” Vincent says.
“You’d think,” Ethan replies.
Vincent is full of energy; Ethan is deprived of it.
“Do you want to play a quick game of mini-basketball?” Vincent asks.
“Nah, not in the mood,” Ethan replies, sprawled out on the couch.
“You hungry? I think I’m going to make some Kraft Dinner.”
Ethan sits, non-responsive.
He finally gets up from the couch and walks to his duffle bag. He grabs a black hoodie and throws it overtop of his plain white shirt. His jeans have been worn for six days in a row. They have a slight stench but that doesn’t seem to bother Ethan. He walks to the door and slips on his shoes.
“Where are you going, dude?” Vincent asks.
“Just for a walk… I’ve got a lot on my mind,” Ethan replies.

Ethan walks out the door. He doesn’t know exactly where he will walk to. He strolls down a couple of side streets, and eventually he ends up on Mayor Magrath Drive. The night is cold, and the pocket in his hoodie isn’t enough to keep his hands warm. The hood is over his head, but he still feels the icy breeze on his ears. His toes are numb. Despite all of this Ethan doesn’t really notice the lack of heat. He wishes he could walk forever. He wants to get lost, to escape this world and never come back. He wishes he was somewhere where no one knows his name… somewhere where he could have a fresh start without people’s pre-conceived judgments looming. He wonders what his future holds… or if he even has one. After walking for about 45 minutes… Ethan takes a turn toward Henderson Park. He walks beside the lake, the same route that he and Liberty used to take. Without thinking about where he is going, his body automatically tells him to sit down. He looks to his side and it is the bench where he and Liberty used to sit. He takes a seat, and looks out across the lake.
The seat of the bench is cold. Ethan shivers while sitting on it. He is finally starting to notice the effect of frostbite on various body parts. He debates going somewhere to warm-up, but somehow, he can’t leave.
“Ethan?”
Ethan hears this but he doesn’t instantly respond. He decides that the words must be intended for someone else.
“Ethan Tate? Is that you?”
He turns around.
It’s her.
Standing there… with a baby blue winter coat, a white toque and pink mittens, it’s her.
Ethan looks in disbelief, at first excited. He then remembers his situation, and he prepares for the worst… he gets ready for her to go off on him and tell him what a failure he has become. He can’t even face her without feeling terrible. He is scared and disappointed… but mostly ashamed.
“It is you!” she exclaims.
The greeting is not what Ethan expected.
Liberty Hollingsworth runs over and gives Ethan a big hug. He is so shocked that it takes him a moment to wrap his arms around her. She holds him so tightly that he instantly begins to warm up. Then she backs off slightly but continues to hold his arms. She looks into his eyes. A tear rolls down her cheek; the wind is sucked out of Ethan.
With a glowing smile, Liberty asks, “Where have you been Ethan? You weren’t at school after Christmas break… then I phoned your mother to make sure everything was alright. She told me what happened… she’s really worried about you Ethan… we all are worried.”
Ethan watches as Liberty sits next to him, closer than he would have thought. He still doesn’t understand why she is being so nice to him. He thought she hated him.
“Liberty,” Ethan begins, finding it hard to breath. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”
“Good,” Liberty replies without hesitation. “Because that’s the only way we learn Ethan. We all screw up… the point is whether or not we learn from what we have done wrong.”
Ethan looks down.
“You don’t understand Liberty,” Ethan replies instantly. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”
Liberty sits there looking at him. Her ex-boyfriend looks broken… she has never seen him like this.
“Whatever it is… you can get through it. We can get through it,” Liberty says, never taking her eyes off of Ethan’s, truly believing what she is saying.
Ethan looks back up at her vulnerably. He can’t fathom why she wants to help him.
“I’m addicted to cocaine.”
After a minute or two of not hearing a response… Ethan looks back up, expecting to see a disgusted look on Liberty’s face. Sitting beside him, she still looks deeply into his eyes. Not disappointedly; rather, lovingly.
“Not anymore,” Liberty says confidently. “You know why Ethan? Because I’m not going to let you. You and I are going to get through this together. You’re going to get clean and you’re going to start feeling a lot better about yourself.”
“Liberty, you don’t understand,” Ethan begins. “I need it. I mean, I can’t get by without it.”
Liberty takes her eyes off Ethan for a moment and looks out onto the frozen water.
“I don’t believe you,” she says, still staring at the ice.
“What do you mea—”
“Why did you come here tonight Ethan?” Liberty asks, cutting him off.
Ethan pauses for a moment, then, “I needed to take a walk and think things through.”
“Maybe,” Liberty says. “But you know what I think? I think that you needed something else, something more. Don’t you think it’s too coincidental that this walk took you right back to the place you and I would always come when we were dating? I know I did. I’ve been coming here every night for the past week Ethan. Every night I drive down to Henderson, walk to this bench, sit down and then pray, so hard, that you might show up. Tonight I started praying before I got to the bench. Now you say that you need cocaine… that you can’t live without it. I don’t think that’s true. I think what you can’t live without… is me. You’re not the only one who has had a rough last couple of months. I’ve truly been miserable at times Ethan. Without you in my life, sometimes I feel like I have nothing. I try to distract myself with homework and reading… but it doesn’t fill the void. The reason that I am so confident that you can’t live without me Ethan… is because I can’t live without you. We’re supposed to be together… we need to be together.
The drugs you’ve been involved with will only lead you to emptiness. There are people who want you back… perhaps more than you could ever understand. I need you back Ethan. I love you.”
Ethan’s heart is out of breath. He can not wipe the tears off his face as fast as they are coming out. He is at his worst and yet, Liberty wants a part in his life… now more than ever.
“I’m so sorry, Liberty,” Ethan says, sniffling.
“It’s OK, Ethan… I promise you, we’re going to get through this. You just have to be willing to let people help you through it… and you have to promise me that you’ll move back home.”
Still crying, Ethan nods his head.
The two of them stare at the frozen lake.
The wind, which was blowing in Ethan’s face earlier, has stopped.
“You didn’t write it did you?” Liberty asks, after minutes of silence.
“Write what?” Ethan asks, confused.
Liberty looks at him, reads his face, and then gives a half-smile.
“Nothing… forget I brought it up.”
Ethan looks at Liberty as she is still staring at the lake. His heart pounds and he wonders if he’s ever loved somebody so much. He looks back at the lake.
Liberty takes off her left mitten. She then reaches her warm left hand over to Ethan’s right, clasps it, and puts her head on his shoulder.

---

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24