Unnatural Habitat - Fiftywords - Flash Fiction

in fiftywords •  7 years ago 

There once was a land with two zoos. One was for wealthy children and it was filled with exotic animals from around the world.

The other was for impoverished children to enable them to visit their families, and maybe, one day, when they grow up, they can be incarcerated too.



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Short & sweet, and to the point! I love it !

Upvoted

So true...

Very powerful! You have been able to draw a lot of parallels in just a few words. Sadly this is far too true of the world we live in. An old friends mum worked at a womens prison, and she would often talk about how chaotic and emotional it was for children to visit their parents there. It was difficult for the prison, they didn't want the children to be scared for their mums, or think they were in danger, so they tried to make it a bit nicer for them. But then they also didn't want children to get the wrong impression of prisons, and think it didn't seem as bad as it had sounded. Very good 50w story there! I have seen quite a few that play on the idea of zoos being like prisons, but none that compared it to children visiting their parents in prison.

Thank you so much, it really means a lot that you took the time out to review this story :)

Hi, I just thought I'd reach out -I really liked your ability to utilise one word to create a sour aftertaste. It's really poignant. I'm new to the community and looking to meet some friendly faces :)

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Welcome to Steemit!

It can be really tough being new, so I would suggest going to the PAL channel on Discord to meet a lot of new people, here is a link: https://discord.gg/kNxM7T6

And maybe join https://steemit.chat too, but I think most people are using PAL.

Also you should make an intro post letting people know about you, but nothing too personal since the blockchain is forever lol.

Be sure to use the tag #introduceyourself on your intro post, because a lot of people monitor that tag to meet new Steemians.

Remember when voting that you only have 10 votes per day, so don't worry about voting me, I would prefer you use them in some way to grow your followers.

Feel free to PM me on chat anytime :)

Gonzo - You are a Superstar! Thank you - I will definitely follow your advice - thanks so much and I'll PM you soon!

Wow. That was short and poignant. And not lacking some dry humor. Very good. Sometimes in a very short space one can describe a distopic world. The reader would fill up the blanks.