Somewhere in Atlanta at a motel, Marcus Anderson and Tarrasque sit on different beds. Tarrasque has a bucket of fried shrimp on his lap while he watches cartoons. Marcus Anderson sits on his bed and works at his smart phone.
Anderson: I wonder if we could do a special request for Captain Gunther Stallington to do a mission and grab him like we did Captain Stanca?
Tarrasque lets out a loud burp and goes back to stuffing his face full of fried shrimp.
Anderson: That’s the smartest thing you’ve said all day. Maybe a little feedback? I’m sure we can’t just go to his house or something and say hey, can you tell us what Tarrasque’s real name is?
Tarrasque wipes his hand on his shirt and laughs.
Tarrasque: Go him house, break in door, and beat him until him answer. Then, rip out him lungs so him no can scream.
Marcus watches Tarrasque as he chuckles over the idea of ripping out someone’s lungs and goes right back to eating. Marcus shakes his head.
Anderson: That’s certainly a way to do things. Maybe we figure out a method of figuring this out without the bloodshed. Why don’t we talk about the rumble? Rat Bastard thinks you should find your name soon, because he can’t figure out how to say Tarrasque, much less spell it.
Tarrasque: Me understand. Me no know how spell name either.
Anderson: Geeze. I don’t know if that’s something that should be admitted out loud.
Tarrasque just shrugs, stuffing another shrimp into his face.
Anderson: What about Michael Storm? He thinks that all you really know about him is that he had a cat wandering around during a promo.
Tarrasque is about to eat another shrimp when he looks at Marcus with a serious expression. He just holds the fried shrimp in his hand and seems to consider things for a moment.
Tarrasque: Me know him. Him die once. Him return like Jesus.
Anderson: He came back from the dead three days later?
Tarrasque just shrugs and eats his shrimp with happy munching sounds.
Anderson: Are you still pitching Psychotic Goth off of the boat? Win or lose?
Tarrasque: Win or lose. Him fish food.
Anderson: What about Dylan Black?
Tarrasque throws his head back and laughs.
Tarrasque: Him warm body, nothing more. Me throw him out easy.
Anderson: Johnny Sniper?
Tarrasque: Me talk about him already. Him wounded in body, in head. Easy throw like grenade.
Anderson: Mistress Discipline?
Tarrasque stops eating and smiles. He seems to contemplate things for a little bit with a grin on his face. He moves the bucket to hide his growing erection.
Tarrasque: Me only see pudding covered Mistress. Hard throw her out, but me do. Maybe me say sorry when me throw her out.
Anderson: Hannah Rockford?
Tarrasque just shrugs, eating another shrimp.
Tarrasque: And shim gone. Just like that.
Anderson: Shim?
Tarrasque: Whatever. Shim, she, him. No one care what Hannah is.
Anderson: Anthony Caffrey?
Tarrasque puts two shrimp together and then eats them at the same time.
Tarrasque: Him alliance with Zoaran. Me eliminate both same time.
Anderson: I think it’s pronounced Zoran, Tarrasque.
Tarrasque: Him name not Zorantarrasque. My name...well. My name Tarrasque.
Anderson: Timeless?
Tarrasque: Him should know him lose. Him only go back time? Phooey. Him should go ahead and see him really loser.
Anderson: Zeze Taborda?
Tarrasque stops as he is about to place a shrimp into his mouth. He looks confused for a moment.
Tarrasque: Who?
Anderson: Zeze Taborda. You know the guy that did the interview with the vault full of titles that he’s won in the past.
Tarrasque just shrugs.
Tarrasque: Me have vault too.
Marcus raises an eyebrow.
Anderson: That’s called a pantry and not a vault, Tarrasque.
Tarrasque chuckles, continuing to eat his shrimp.
Anderson: Fine. Cross Recoba. He couldn’t even be bothered to name drop you when talking about AWF stars.
Tarrasque: Me do only few matches. Me not make waves yet. Him will know me name soon enough when me throw him over top rope.
Anderson: Bloodied Fox.
Tarrasque: Me NOT letting him stick him penis in mine!
Marcus opens his mouth and then closes it with a look of concern.
Anderson: Firstly I don’t think that Bloodied Fox wants to have sex with you. Secondly, that’s not how gay sex with men works.
Tarrasque looks confused, setting the shrimp that he was going to eat back into the bucket.
Tarrasque: How gay sex work then?
Anderson: Can’t you just see it with the Akashic Records? Nevermind, I watched this on Shameless. One man is top and the other is bottom. The top guy puts his penis into the other’s butt. It’s sort of a vagina replacement.
Tarrasque looks as if this was the first time he’s heard of such a thing. Which may be true. He doesn’t eat for a few minutes.
Tarrasque: What Bloodied Fox?
Anderson: I don’t know how this pertains to his wrestling ability.
Tarrasque: Fox top or bottom?
Anderson: How the Hell should I know? He has a life partner, boyfriend, or whatever he is. He’s not into you that way.
Tarrasque pops another shrimp into his mouth and chews thoughtfully.
Tarrasque: Me think if me ever have gay sex that me top.
Marcus is quiet for awhile while Tarrasque continues to eat his fried shrimp.
Anderson: What about-
There is a pounding at the door that causes Marcus to nearly jump out of his chair. Tarrasque carries on eating his shrimp like nothing’s happened. Marcus gives him a quick “WTF” look.
Anderson: Someone’s at the door? It’s no problem. I’ll get it…
Marcus walks over, grumbling to the door. He opens it just enough for the slide lock to engage so that he can see out the doorway. Nevermind actually looking through the little window hole thing on the door, right?
Anyway. Mammoth black armor is all that Marcus can see.
Anderson: Oh shit.
The door is kicked in, splintering the door where the lock is. Marcus is knocked down to the floor, the door having struck him in the head.
A gargantuan figure strips through the door, the head crashing through the top of the door frame. A helmeted Black Guard soldier that stands nearly eight feet tall. He reaches down grabbing Marcus by the front of the shirt and lifting him clean off of his feet like a toy doll.
Guard: You’ve been looking for me. Surprise!
The guard hurls Marcus across the room embedding him into the wall. Tarrasque jumps to his feet and rushes the overly large guardsman.
The guardsman punches down to catch Tarrasque in the forehead. He seizes Tarrasque by the throat and raises him up into the air.
Guard: Captain Gunther Stallington at your service.
Marcus stands up out of the wall, blood running down the side of his face.
Anderson: How did you find us?
Gunther slams Tarrasque into the wall, creating a rather large dent.
Stallington: Don’t insult my intelligence. You weren’t hard to find.
Marcus leaps at Gunther, but is easily backhanded out of the air. Marcus flies backward through the air, blood splattering in a high arc as he lands on the bed. Gunter punches Tarrasque in the gut and then sends his head into the flat screen television on the wall, sending out a shower of sparks.
Stallington: Pity. I expected a greater challenge from someone who had given Captain Stanca such trouble.
Tarrasque stands up and punches Gunther in the midsection, but it doesn’t have any effect on the massive man. Gunther seizes Tarrasque by the shoulders and delivers a bone crunching headbutt that sends Tarrasque to his knees, blood running from his nose and face to the floor like rain.
Gunther reaches down for Tarrasque, but finds that Tarrasque reaches up to grab his hands in a test of strength. Gunther laughs, pressing down with all of his strength and weight to keep Tarrasque down.
Stallington: Imagine. You were the secret weapon developed by Warhammer to revolutionize the entire Shocktrooper way of life. A super soldier. You can’t even begin to defeat me. Come on, beast fight back.
Tarrasque grits his bloody teeth, fighting back with all of his might, but finds that he cannot. Marcus Anderson sits up on the bed, looking punch drunk.
Anderson: Tarrasque! You can do it!
Stallington: He can’t defeat me, Anderson. He can’t defeat anybody.
Gunther kicks Tarrasque in the gut, continuing to push down on Tarrasque.
Stallington: You always say that you’re strong, beast. How strong are you now? Who’s strong now?
Tarrasque: Me am. Me am strong.
A fire enters his eyes as the blood rains from his face.
Tarrasque: Me am STRONG!
Tarrasque starts to rise to his feet, pushing back against Gunther.
Stallington: How? You can’t do this!
Tarrasque is standing and it’s Gunther’s turn to drop to his knees, his hands being bent backwards until there is tearing at the wrists. Sparks fly out, burning Tarrasque’s arms as the hands snap off to leave wires and such hanging out of the broken ends instead of flesh and blood. Gunther screams in pain, rage, and no small amount of fear. Tarrasque lets out a roar of triumph.
Tarrasque: ME AM STRONG!
The helmet flies off and the back of the armor bursts open to allow a four foot man escape from the back of the armor. He turns around and begins running out through the door of the room. Tarrasque shoves the armor to the side and begins to give chase, but-
Anderson: No! He could be leading you into a trap! We have to get out of here before reinforcements come!
Tarrasque growls, but nods his head. Marcus gets off of the bed and swoons, being caught by Tarrasque. Marcus smiles.
Anderson: Thanks. Gunther might have come alone, but he might have not.
Marcus sits back down on the bed with a sigh.
Anderson: Just as soon, just as soon as the world stops spinning.
Marcus lays back on the bed.
It isn’t but seconds later when several black armored shocktroopers rush into the room with their weapons pointed at Tarrasque and Marcus Anderson. Captain Stanca is behind them without a helmet. He smiles as Tarrasque puts his arms into the air.
Stanca: Take them. We are going to have a lot of fun.
Marcus doesn’t even have the energy to put his arms into the air. He sighs.
Anderson: Well...shit.