Movie Stakeout Reviews 13/03/20-19/03/20

All the latest Movieland investigations from detectives Dick japowski and Joey Arizona.

The Arizona Case Files
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2015)
Jane Austen's classic novel is given a undead twist.
It's hard to know really who this film, and indeed the book, are aimed at. There has to be a limited audience who like Austen's work and horror movies, Mrs. Arizona is part of that small demographic but the film largely made her angry. As 90% of the film is the original novel, with them 'just shoehorning in the zombie stuff'.
I however have been made to watch Joe Wright's 2005 adaptation enough times that I know the original story, but emotionally removed from it enough that I can enjoy the added Zombies and Shaolin sword skills.
Rewatch: 3 Doughnuts

The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Hardware (1990)
Richard Stanley's Visually arresting post apocalyptic America is a fun setting for this D.I.Y. terminator. When Dylan McDermott's scavenger brings home some mechanical military parts for his artist girlfriend to use its not long before it assembles for some fun slashery! An underrated cult classic that I can finally check off my videos hop to watch list!
First watch: 4 Doughnuts

The Arizona Case Files
The Gate (1987)
A young Stephen Dorff and his friend inadvertently release a demonic force into the world.
The Gate spends more than half it's runtime establishing the set-up, which means you start losing interest before the film goes completely bat-shit.
The effects in The Gate are amazing, from pintsize demons running around to melting faces, unfortunately all the 'that's fucking cool' effects in the world don't help if you don't care about the story itself, or the characters populating it.
If I'd seen this as a youngster back in the day I have no doubt I'd have spent years telling everyone how cool it was.
First watch: 2.5 Doughnuts

A Shore Thing: Celebrating everyone's favourite weasel.. It's Pauly Shore Appreciation Month! with Dick Japowski
In the Army Now (1994)
A couple of ambitious goof offs join the army reserves after learning they can make a lot of money, but you guessed it, they get called up to war. Weaponising the Weasel should have been funnier than what we get but this is an easy watch which will give you a gentle smile at the very least.
First watch: 2.5 out of 5 head scarves

The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Shin Kamen Rider: Prologue (1992)
A different more horror tinged take on the kamen rider origin story featuring buckets of blood and gratuitous butt shots!
First watch: 3 Doughnuts

A Shore thing: Celebrating everyone's favourite weasel... It's Pauly Shore Appreciation Month! with Dick Japowski
Pauly Shore Stands Alone (2014)
Documentary following the Wea-sel driving from club to club in snowy Wisconsin doing what he loves most, stand up comedy, whilst also coming to terms with his mother's failing health.
It's clear from this film that Shore truly loves his touring life and that people still love him in evert Town he visits, but you also get a sense of sadness that he never met anyone he wanted to settle down with and have a family, wondering if it's to late for him? And as people still see him as a party dude, unfortunately he may be right?
First watch: 3.5 out of 5 head scarves

The Arizona Case Files
Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018)
A pair of loveable losers discover a mysterious book which releases a evil ventriloquist dummy named Slappy, at first slappy plays nice(ish), but soon he's unleashing all kinds of heck.
A fun sequel, but much lighter on story and in tone than the original. It'd be nice if future installments tried something different instead of retreading the same path.
First watch: 3 Doughnuts

Have you witnessed any of the movies we've investigated? What's the verdict? Let us know in the comments below.