All the latest Movieland investigations from detectives Dick Japowski and Joey Arizona.
The Arizona Case Files
Tag (2018)
A fun comedy based on the true story of a group friends who've played the same game of tag for thirty years, and one that makes Jeremy Renner tolerable.
First watch: 3 Doughnuts
The Arizona Case Files: Unseen August
Bloodsport (1988)
Us army captain Frank Dux goes AWOL to compete in a secretive full contact martial arts tournament in Hong Kong. While there he grabs the attention of a female reporter and evades being apprehended by a pair of non-descript government agents.
The flashback sequences of kid Frank are painful to watch, you have no idea whether the agents are military police, F.B.I, or mall security, or why the undercover reporter attending a super secretive event whips a massive tape recorder out of her purse and start taking notes in front of everyone?
Two things are certain; Bolo Yeung's returning champion is such an intimidating douchebag you can't wait for JCVD to knock him out, and if they remake this in the next few years wrestler Braun Strowman has to play Donald Gibb's part.
First watch: 3 Doughnuts
The Arizona Case Files
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
When a space mission leaves Jean Grey host to the greatest power in the universe she starts to unravel, and after her powers result in tragedy the mutants are divided by the next course of action, capture or kill.
I'm a big X-Men fan, I love these movies even the weak ones, and this is definitely one of those. While it is a much better version of the Phoenix story than was presented in The Last Stand, it's less exciting.
Also while James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender were great as the young Xavier and Magneto they don't have the gravitas of Patrick Stuart and Ian Mckellen, who they will become in just nine years of the x-timeline. McAvoy and Fassbender also haven't aged in the 30 year span of the movie timeline.
First watch: 3 Doughnuts
The Arizona Case Files: Unseen August
The Sound of Music (1965)
A young nun too excitable for a life in the habit is sent out into the world to gain some life experience, becoming governess to the seven children of a surly naval captain.
Once this finished I asked Mrs Arizona, who likes both musicals and period dramas, and also had never seen The Sound of Music, what she thought.
"It was alright, it seemed to go on forever and only got interesting at the end when they were trying to escape", and I think that pretty much sums it up for me too.
First watch: 3 Doughnuts
The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Tremors (1990)
The Monster Squad (1987)
With the girls out of town for the night I took Japowski Jr to movie monster school!
First up we watched Tremors, which holds up as a timeless classic. The chemistry between Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward is what makes this. It also helps having a great creature in the graboid and being frequently hilarious!
Dracula brings his gang of monsters to the eighties and only a group of kids can stop them in The Monster Squad.
Another childhood staple which never failed to get us amped up to look for monsters in the local woods! I'm pleased to report both dad classics went down well with Japowski Jr.
Will I win a parent of the year award? Time will tell!
Tremors: 5 Doughnuts
The Monster Squad: 4 Doughnuts
Have you witnessed any of the movies we've investigated? What's the verdict? Let us know in the comments below.