All the latest Movieland investigations from detectives Dick Japowski and Joey Arizona.
Dick Japowski's Ape-ril Ape-stravaganza
The Monkey's Paw (1948)
An antique curio of a monkeys paw that will grant your wish but kick you in the olden days balls messes with a series of townsfolk.
Adaptation of the 1902 short story but probably most fondly remembered as a Simpsons' Treehouse of Horrors story! This was a lot of fun and at just over an hour this was the perfect length. There was a streak of macabre humor running through this and gained bonus points from me being a local tale, at one point they talk about going to Truro and even mention Penair girls which made me chuckle and think of good friends!
First watch: 4 Bananas
(Truro and Penair are a stone's throw from the precinct)
The Arizona Case Files
Bumblebee (2018)
Eighties set prequel/spin-off/reboot of the transformers movie franchise, featuring everyone's favourite yellow autobot hiding in plain sight, avoiding the American military and a pair Decepticon bounty killers.
Michael Bay's original Transformers movie seemed like the best we could expect from a live-action outing, and every sequel proved that theory...that was until Bumblebee. The majority of the film plays out like an eighties adventure movie, but there are several sequences set on Cybertron which are what every Transformers fan dreamed of as a child. They're worth the watch alone.
First watch: 4 Doughnuts
Dick Japowski's Ape-ril Ape-stravaganza
A.P.E a.k.a. King Kong's Counter Attack a.k.a. Hideous Mutant (1976)
Cashing in on the big budget Kong remake of the same year, this South Korean/American co-production is a large snooze fest even with the a.p.e being on screen right from the get go. The same footage of people running from him is Used constantly and the dubbing of poor dialogue may be something that straightens your banana but I'm not promising anything!
First watch: 1.5 Bananas
The Arizona Case Files
Mindhorn (2016)
Mighty Boosher Julien Barrett plays a faded actor of a hit eighties detective show, who is recruited by the police to negotiate with a suspected serial killer who refuses to speak to anyone other than Mindhorn, the character he played 30 year ago.
An enjoyable, but largely forgettable comedy thriller featuring some of Britain's finest acting exports.
First watch: 3 Doughnuts
The Ape-rizona Case Files
Bride of the Gorilla (1951)
Lon Chaney Jr and Raymond 'Ironside' Burr star in this tale of a cursed plantation owner who turns into a gorilla.
In the movie Ed Wood there's a scene where Wood is watching a reel of stock footage and declares he could make a whole movie out of it, well this must be that movie. It's 65 minutes long, and at least 15 minutes of that is stock footage of various Jungle animals...and very little gorilla.
First watch: 2 Bananas
Dick Japowski's Ape-ril Ape-stravaganza
Time of the Apes (1987)
A group of humans volunteer themselves to the future, to a time when apes are jerks and then scream their way to a conclusion.
If this looks like it was shot in the seventies it's because it was! This movie was pieced together from footage of a 1974 series called Army of the Apes, from Tsuburya who also made the Ultraman shows. Fun, but repetitive. This probably worked better as twenty minute episodes.
First watch: 2.5 Bananas
The Arizona Case Files
Fantasia 2000 (1999)
Disney's second anthology of animated shorts set to/inspired by famous pieces of music is just as hit and miss as the 1940 original. Sure the animation is the top quality you expect from the House of Mouse, but like the original there are only two segments I enjoyed, and one of those was The Sorcerer's Apprentice, lifted straight from the original movie.
The one segment I did like, a 1930's set piece following several New York residents scored to Rhapsody in Blue, I loved, and would have given 5 stars on it's own.
There's also a great joke during a Noah's Ark segment where a Griffin, a Dragon, and a Unicorn are laughing at all the animals boarding the ark.
First watch: 3 Doughnuts.
Have you witnessed any of the movies we've investigated? What's the verdict? Let us know in the comments below.