All the latest Movieland investigations from detectives Dick Japowski and Joey Arizona.
Dick Japowski's VHS Chronicles
A Force of One (1979)
The police are getting frustrated at the wide spread drug use in California so play the ultimate tough move card, ex Vietnam veteran, karate champ, meme man Chuck Norris! Things get personal and this soon becomes a revenge war.
As exciting as this sounds the movie was a bit of a slog, with the rewind button having to be deployed a few times in order to keep up. Please don't tell Chuck!
First watch: 1.5 Doughnuts
The Arizona Case Files
The Way of the Gun (2000)
A pair of nomadic crooks stumble upon their big payday, the kidnap/ransom of a surrogate carrying the child of a very wealthy man. But because they're out-of-towners they're unaware Mr Moneybags is a connected man.
Twenty years ago this was a very cool movie starring Ryan Phillippe, then part of Hollywood's current Bright young things, playing very much against type, and the mumbly guy from The Usual Suspects. Although it may of lost some of that cool veneer over the last two decades it it's still a lot if fun. It also helped that I remembered almost nothing about it.
Rewatch: 3.5 Doughnuts
The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Longshot (2019)
Seth Rogen stars as a journalist with integrity. His path crosses with Charlize Theron playing the secretary of state, the girl he's loved since he was 12.
Unlikely? That's the longshot!
Once you get past the base profanity comedy, this is an incredibly sweet, funny film that will charm you off your feet. The feel good factor is through the roof on this one.
First watch: 4 Doughnuts
The Arizona Case Files
Masters of the Universe (1987)
Skeletor is set to conquer Eternia, he's imprisoned the sorceress and captured Castle Greyskull, and in a matter of hours will fain all the powers within. He-Man and his allies are determined to stop him, but find themselves stranded on Earth after escaping through a portal.
There was a lot grumbling back in the day about Masters of the Universe, that it wasn't anything like the series which inspired it, despite there already being more than one continuity at this point, and since the film's release there have been numerous others, giving those arguments even less validity. It does for He-Man what the Michael Bay movies did for transformers, it's not necessarily the movie people wanted, but it's close enough.
Nostalgia goggles off it's a solid fantasy adventure, with some cracking creature design, and a truly magnificent villain. The only thing which really let's it down is Dolph Lundgren's acting, a problem given he's the lead character.
Rewatch: 3.5 Doughnuts
Dick Japowski's Unseen August
Some Like it Hot (1959)
When a couple of musicians witness a mob hit, they disguise themselves as ladies and hop on a train with an all girl music act where they meet Marilyn Monroe's Sugar Cane. It's not long before both lady men are vying for her affections whilst lying low from mobsters!
Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis make a great double act, with Lemmon in particular having a ball as a Tex Avery wolf put among the sheep!
A comedy that has stood the test of time, with jokes innocent enough not to get it cancelled.
First watch: 4 Doughnuts
The Arizona Case Files: Unseen August
Barbarella (1968)
A representative of United Earth is sent on a mission to find a rogue scientist who's reportedly created a new super weapon.
I can only assume Barbarella became a cult classic because people can't get over what an utter technicolor car crash it is. This is what happens when a director, a screenwriter, a costume designer, and a composer all take acid, and then attempt to make a science fiction movie without ever communicating to one another. Utter drivel.
First watch: 1 Doughnut
Have you witnessed any of the movies we've investigated? What's the verdict? Let us know in the comments below.