Finish the Story Contest - Week #43!

in finishthestory •  6 years ago  (edited)

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Artwork by the wondrous Simone Nork Denti

A contest with a pot of 10 STEEM + 4 @steembasicincome shares? You're in the right place!

200 @steembasicincome shares awarded till now, plus 22.558 SBD and 83 STEEM, through the contest in 41 weeks!


What lies at the bottom of a bottle of Banana Grog?

1st place: n. 5 STEEM

2nd place: n. 3 STEEM

3rd place: n. 2 STEEM

popular vote: n. 2 steembasicincome share (remember to vote your favorite!)

Best comment to the stories: n. 2 steembasicincome shares

Welcome to another week of written delights, dear denizens of the deep! @brisby here to play with the buttons and rearrange the books on the shelves as @f3nix plays with the brand new monkey's paw he received in the mail. He's been working hard behind the scenes on our newest Bananfish project so I'm betting there's at least one wish in there for a down pillow and his favorite Cthulhu plush to cuddle as he slips into dreamland.

Speaking of our latest project... what's that bananafishious banner up there? Could that dude, who's playing the drum, be Tio Billy from the renowned Tortillas de Pelo punk-rock band?? But of course, the new contest "Quest in the Realms" is taking shape! Sharpen your pens, beloved potassium appreciators, since something never seen on Steemit is coming this month for you right from the K-deity creative mind. The Quest in the Realms will reward a brave adventurer with a 30 STEEM PRIZE. It's an original format that will throw you in a multiple endings story and - at the same time - in a treasure hunt among the Realms. All the Bananafish Knights are scribbling like sloths under LSD to deliver you a unique and rewarding experience with more than 50 episodes and 10 different endings. Stay tuned!

This edition's challenge is another lovely tale penned by our potassium driven prophet. @F3nix's style delivers us lush detail and compelling characters. Today's ingenious setting will set your imaginations into overdrive as you all put your fantastic talents to work! We can't wait to see what wondrous stories the amazing Bananafish writers will create this week!

Good luck, brave storytellers!


Map of the Bananafish Realms from a piratey perspective!


  • Tell a friend about the contest!

  • Join the Bananafish Realms discord chat for fresh updates and other amenities.

  • Vote, vote, vote your favorite story in the comments!

  • Use the #finishthestory tag.

  • Try to post your story the earliest possible and not at the last moment (or after the results! argh!)

  • Respect the dreadful 500 words limit! o_0

  • Help our contest & workshop to grow by giving it some visibility.

    And now.. let's dive into the story!

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Sharp Clouds in Eden

by @f3nix

As the seasons went on, she had not yet accustomed to that sight.

The expanse of clouds unfurled just beyond the edge of the plateau like a harmonious and yet restless carpet, woven from ranks of industrious angels. Only the blue condor, curious to taste the rarefied ozone flavor, occasionally tried to pierce the milky diaphragm.

An unnamed and timeless plateau. It had always belonged to that celestial ocean, cradled by its waves like the head of a gigantic primeval tortoise, asleep for thousands of years.

The woman sat absorbed on the black basalt edge. Lying on her knees stood a tablet with elusive colors. Her tapered fingers danced over it decidedly, following the counterpoint of secret music. A warm upward current ruffled her thick brown hair until she was forced to give in and stop the dance, hastily moving the curls from her forehead.

She procrastinated, holding back her knowledge on the tips of those solitary fingers that, slowing down, now left room for memories. Now the memories were transmuting, stretching in long meditating axons, which she watched parading before her eyes at the capricious rhythm of the clouds.

The plateau had no name and, at the same time, kept all the names, including those that she wanted to forget.

The fingertips resumed drumming on the iridescent surface of the tablet to stop almost immediately. As always, before even hearing him approach, she had felt his eyes on the back of her head.

"I'm almost done, Heitor." It was not true, but she tried to comfort her husband as her fingers flew frantically, receiving small luminous epiphanies from the device.

“Debes beber, mi amor. Al menos esto.” He sat close and gently pushed forward the cup of muña until the mint's scent convinced her to stop and take a couple of quick sips. Hidden among the gestures of daily care, she could not ignore a note of concern in her husband's voice.

"We were fine here until it lasted, weren't we?" The words came out crumpled, making their way slowly through the wood of thoughts. He raised an asymmetric smile and winked at her the way she used to like.

Her distinctive wrinkle of concentration formed between her eyes, two delicious hazelnut drops, while she sighed.

"You know it does not help us, mi vida. I'll join you as soon as I can." At that moment, the importance of what she had to do was the perfect alibi not to raise her gaze on him. She silently kept repeating to herself that this wasn't a goodbye.

The vibrating bark of the imperial ship came suddenly. As it emerged, the clouds frayed around the cobalt metal frigate like impotent fingers, in the last desperate attempt to hold back a blind, deep-water fish.

She watched her husband run back to the house, as planned.

"Let the show begin, bastards." She thought while the ship's jaws already spewed out a black phalanx, heading at a steady pace in the direction of the woman.

"Kalliska Pan, Imperial Master Grower, you're under arrest on evidence of desertion and high treason. Do not resist and follow us spontaneously or I will not hesitate to order coercive measures against you. "

"The Empire has no sovereignty over this soil. Be careful what you do, Colonel. "

"Master Grower, you have lost all diplomatic immunity. I repeat: do not resist. "

"I know the reason for your visit, Colonel. And I regret having to point out that you are not in the position to order anything. We could save time if you left your pathetic bluff right away. "

In an abrupt gesture toward the guards, the black leather of the colonel's glove stood out against the diaphanous sky. "You all. Back to the ship now."

The warm upward current strenghtened, making the imperial frigade's hull resound like a grim stork. They were alone. She held the Colonel's stare.

"There's still time to fix this, Kal .."

"Since long already you have lost any right to call me like that, Musashi"

While even the clouds seemed to stop, the fingers of the Master Grower continued to dance.


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Let’s grow together!


The wise potassium kami Bananafish wants all of its beloved people to benefit from rich upvotes. For this reason, knowing that unity is strength, it asks for SP delegations and for numerous commitments to the voting trail.

With delegations, @bananafish VP will grow and consequently, the upvotes given to every contest entry will be higher. @f3nix, @gwilberiol, @dirge, @tristancarax, @theironfelix, @raj808, @brisby, @maverickinvictus, @cyemela, @marcoriccardi, @calluna, @oivas, @anixio, @ntowl, @felt.buzz are the names of the proud Bananafish Knights who already delegated a fraction of their SP to this project.

Following the voting trail is a way to make sure you always support the other participants to the Bananafish contests, automatically upvoting the posts (but not the comments) @bananafish upvotes. @foffelius, @steelochlaver, @f3nix, @marcoriccardi, @anixio, @gwilberiol, @brisby, @calluna, @ntowl, @dirge, @iamthegray, @seesladen, @theironfelix, @letalis-laetitia, @vdux are already in the trail.

If you’re interested, here you can find all the information needed.



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Join the fun! Here is how this contest works:


  • An unfinished fiction story or a script is posted.

  • You finish it with your own post or a comment in the comment section. A limit of 500 words is recommended.

  • WIN 10 STEEM + 4 @steembasicincome shares to the writers with the best endings and comments.

The result will be out on Wednesday - January 23rd, 14:00 PM GMT+7 avg. (U.S. West Coast time zone). Submission deadline: Tuesday - January 22nd, 14:00 PM GMT+7 (U.S. West Coast time zone). You may vote your favorite story till the results are out!

A special thank to @gwilberiol, @dirge, @tristancarax, @theironfelix, @raj808, @brisby, @maverickinvictus, @cyemela, @marcoriccardi, @calluna, @oivas, @anixio, @ntowl, @felt.buzz for their precious delegations, making this project a reality!
If you like this contest..SPREAD THE GOSPEL! We're grateful for your resteeming and word of mouth. Everything helps to grow together!



GOOD LUCK, BRAVE STORYTELLERS!



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  ·  6 years ago (edited)

Hello friends! Just a quick note. Primarily, my story talks about feelings, memories, and things that surface from the past. The title took me more time than expected, as I wanted to convey a certain mood. The sense of wonder lives first of all in our inner world: that place that no one will ever steal from us. This message might seem a bit cryptic but it's better to leave it like a whisper now that the pen passes to you. Enjoy!

Thanks to you, our hardworking bananafish prophet, for the whispers of insight to your tale!

Thanks to you @brisby! Your help with this edition almost makes me forget about the bdsm special treatment of some weeks ago and the attempt of selling me in an auction between bananafish members 😂 (as you can see, this time I'm commenting and trying to stay with people so to make the abduction at least more difficult).

  ·  6 years ago (edited)

Why would you want to forget about that blissful time when you were sequestered beneath the desk with the tinsel and fruitcake? (I thought I had read something about that in your letter to Santa.🤔)

As for the auction, aren't you flattered that so many men were happy to part with their funds to free you? (Or was it cook you,? I think one may have had a grill and seasonings ready to go...)

More difficult? Look around you, my fanged bud. Are there any trees nearby? My squirrel cohorts are everywhere and we have so much fun with reaquisition. 😁

This one is so rich in potential. There is character development, a suggested history and plot trajectory. Very tempting. So visual I feel like creating a picture to go with the story. Too bad I'm not an artist--but that never stops me from trying. Just have to work around the crick in my neck :))

I used to paint with watercolors. This would be a nice sketch (psst.. Roraima..). Thank you for your appreciation, that counts for me. Probably you noticed my "retargeting". I hope to read you soon 🙂

I've already begun... I see the woman and the Colonel. The husband less distinctly. Wish I could paint with watercolors--well, I can if I silence that critic in my head. My son gave me an easel and paints for Christmas, so I will have to try to respect his gesture.
I do hope I come up with something worthy. The process is the fun...the outcome not always so.

If the process is the fun, then who cares about the outcome? 😉 The woman is inspired by wifey hehe. Maybe that's why I didn't take so much time to portray the husband. Try painting, is almost as cathartic as writing .. With me, it worked a lot.

I completely agree that this lovely story is full of prospect. So happy to read that you've been inspired to paint a piece to accompany your tale! I hope that you succeed in gagging your inner critic and enjoy yourself! 🤗

Vote your favorite story here!

Wow! So difficult to choose. All brilliant and I struggled between three. In the end I vote for @calluna. She always blows me away with her writing

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Wow this was a crazy crazy tough round! I was up late last night trying to decide, thought i'd got it, then we got a curve ball of a killer entry in the end!

In the end, I really really struggled to pick one, so please can I be rubbish and cast a main vote for @marcoriccardi and then if you need a decider, agmoore and sarez - just, oh my word, i very much enjoyed having to read them oh so many times <3 Brisby, I don't envy you!

My vote is for @calluna. I did enjoy @felt.buzz's entry as well. It was another tough round as always.

I read all the stories and I found them extremely interesting, especially because the plots between the various characters were rendered in very different ways.
However, when I read the story of @calluna I had to surrender to the fact that, simply, the girl can write damn well! I think that her ending is the perfection, speaking of narrative rhythm and of the emotion climax that culminates with the dramatic and spectacular ending. In addition, she knew very well how to sow small hints here and there, that reveal an interesting story of unrequited love and another lost love. So my vote absolutely goes to her.

I would like to vote for @felt.buzz that was good I liked it

I might have gone the obvious route for this one, so thought I better get in there early, so here we have it, the weekly offering to appease the-never-quite-satisfied great greedy god, who is also all knowing and wise and fair and just and please don't smite me

https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@calluna/sharp-clouds-in-eden-finish-the-story-entry

Not obvious in the least, Calluna! Won't be any smiting from this happy deity, who is happily contented with the lavish feast your story offered.

I remember another time where you said that your ending was obvious and I just thought: if this is obvious, then what will happen when there will be an original one? She will probably create a space-time warp or maybe a black hole or an antimatter explosion.

Okay okay, not so much the titan plant or the synthetic, but the dying part, and to be fair, that wasn't as popular as I thought it would be. Need to kill off characters somewhere now don't i? ;)

The results will be out at Januar 16th? That was over 2 days ago

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@f3nix likes too much playing Shintiara, and he often remains trapped in time paradoxes ;)

LOL those paradoxes.. I love them so much!

Whoops! Thanks for the heads up, Wakeupkitty! 😎

The results will be out on Wednesday - January 23rd, 14:00 PM GMT+7 avg. (U.S. West Coast time zone). Submission deadline: Tuesday - January 22nd, 14:00 PM GMT+7 (U.S. West Coast time zone). Participants may vote their favorite story till the results are out!

  ·  6 years ago (edited)

Great work, Cyemela! Love the Star Wars tie-in!!

Perfect!

First blood for @cyemela the great!
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  ·  6 years ago (edited)

Here we go took me a while to edit it down to under 500 but I did it. Good luck to all.
https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@stever82/my-entry-to-the-finish-the-story-contest-week-43

Awesome! Thanks and good luck to you too!

And we're happy to read you again! Thanks, Vasigo! 😁

My entry, without a watercolor (:
However, I tried to evoke the text with a couple of Paint 3D/GIMP constructed images.
To the Future

Always happy to read your stories, Agmoore! Thank you for the added images, as they're a nice companion to the story. (Though, whenever you wish to share your art, we'd love to see it! 😊)

If you like to smile, you'd love it! Fit only for children and pets to enjoy :)

Well, I'm sold. After all, that's right up my alley! #squirrelbrain 😁

-Bris

Here be me entry for this contest here.
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Nice to have you along as always, Felix! 😁

Where’d yah found that beautiful lassie :heart_eyes:

For real. That's creepy.

Are you suggesting what I research here in Antarctica is normal/cute? What is this, Spooky's mansion of Jumpscares (yes that's a real video game, I rather you watch a let's play to know what I mean)?

Surprisingly enough, this bit of lovely came from giphy.com after I typed in gas mask. :^)

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LOL. Never take research lightly.

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Hi guys... not my best work. It has taken me longer to catch up after so much traveling and I thought I wouldn't have time to write it. And then I thought: make time. So here it is, for what it is worth!

https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@felt.buzz/edens-end-my-entry-in-the-finishthestory-contest-kqnb6m94

Now, I can read all the other entries. Love and peace my friends

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Very glad that you made time and gave us this incredible story!

I think I am learning just to get on with it. Freewriting helps. The first 160 words were written in themostdangerousapp

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Terrific! Thanks, Sarez!

Welcome Gaby! I've been inspired by your last story's mood. That's also why I took this direction with mine.

Ah that’s so cool :) it was an impressive first half, I had to pull up my socks and get writing again.

I don't know if I'm too late, but I strongly wanted to write an ending for this story that made me dream... it's also my only post on my personal account in the last two months!

https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@marcoriccardi/sharp-clouds-in-eden-rain-falls-finish-the-story-contest-43

Yay!! Marco came to play! Here's a banana daiquiri for you in celebration for your posting. :^)

The first prose/haiku mashup! Awesome!

A mystical plateau, three strong characters- all at different poles. An emotional current. Another great #finishthestory !!

Very well said, Sarez! Looking forward to another of your fine stories! 😎

Thanks so much, my friend in fiction misdeeds! Kalliska Pan, the Master Grower, will probably become a frequent character like Ethan or the Tortillas de Pelo.

Hi! I am a robot. I just upvoted you! Readers might be interested in similar content by the same author:
https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@bananafish/finish-the-story-contest-week-42

Thanks for keeping a robotic eye out, Cheetah! The Finish the Story Contest is a weekly initiative and so the format and some of the content (rules, links, etc.) will be reiterated per each edition.


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(Have a great day!)