RE: Finish The Story Contest - Week #67!

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Finish The Story Contest - Week #67!

in finishthestory •  5 years ago  (edited)

Oh boy, almost broke my leg reading through this.

But I guess this is the tough part about the assignment - understand what's going on in the prompt. It will all smooth sailing after that. )))

Oh, boy! After all grandiloquent phrases, where it felt like I was inside of a classical Greek tragedy ...All of a sudden...

And instead, look where I fucking got myself.

I almost have torn my rectus abdominis from laughter! That was too funny! @f3nix, you've made my day!

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Hello @mgaft1. Hope that your abdomen is alright and, in any case, I decline any responsibility for injuries! In the prompt, I tried to adopt a third person limited perspective. That's why I didn't want to tell too much but just to show what was happening around the protagonist. I took my good time editing and my intent was to let the participants being free in their interpretation without too much conditioning.
Anyway, she wanted to reach a clinic and get paid in exchange to her submission to a private program of pharmaceutical tests (this actually happens in Switzerland and I know they used to pay handsomely). Unfortunately, she had a car incident when approaching the clinic. She's been rescued.. Apparently.

Objection sustained. I am already writing the continuation. So, maintain the condition of red alert )))

Questions:

  1. When you say, "Crane" do you mean the bird or a machine that lifts and lower materials?

  2. What did the nurse look at the parking lot?

The attendant loomed from behind the doctor's silhouette

  1. Is this guy the same cynical male nurse that looked at the parking lot or a different character?

  2. Why is the nurse man and there are no women in the hospital? Isn't it because the hospital is run by a male chauvinistic pig; the protege of white supremacy and patriarchate?

Oh it's Q&A time.. I like it!
In order to avoid switching to an omniscient narrator, I'll resist the temptation and reply through the mouth, eyes and mind of Ms White.

  1. Crane the machine, being the guy's movements quite mechanic.

  2. I don't know. Peraphs, for the little I can see from this bed, he seemed that he wanted to be elsewhere.

  3. Yup. Same person.

  4. Nice one! No apparent reason but what you suggested could be part of your second half (there's some Freudian blurb I could add on the nurse and doctor's roles but better to not open the Pandora's box).

Hope Ms White clarified the doubts a bit 😉 Ah, thank you for helping @phil-glaz with the translation, that was awesome!

Thank you! I will build on that. @phil-glaz's writing was easy to translate. To translate your super imaginative writing to Russian took some sweating effort. )))