T minus 30.

in firstpost •  7 years ago  (edited)

"There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures."
~Willam Shakespeare.
Words are in my opinion, the only Superior power to believe in.
I will not tell you my name or my place, but now I write to apply thousand people.
I write my story in an attempt to communicate what I could not find the courage to before.
I write on this blank canvas hoping to find something I thought I had lost forever.
My voice.
Growing up I've always noticed the elephant in the room.
The devil hanging on my shoulders.
For the longest time I've waged war with myself.
A mutant, who goes by the name of depression.
I've been fighting it's chronies, anxiety as well.
For the longest time I've been too scared to write about how I feel.
It's all about to change.
This may not be a happy story, it may not show you strength, but if you let me, I'll show you my struggle and my pain in the most unfiltered light.
Late last night i decided to end my life. This is one amongst the many attempts, but I could not bring myself to it.
I seem to be clinging to God knows what, for my dear life.
I've decided to give my life one last chance. So in the course of the next thirty days, I will write about my attempt at salvation and my fight for redemption.
I write to you in hopes of finding happiness amidst this choas, amidst this war, I hope to find my silver lining.
I have never been at a loss of words, but now dear reader, I struggle to see a reason for my existence. I only wish for strength to see myself walk down this path I'm taking and come out victorius.
Death brings about some strange courage , a need to do things , to see things before you move on to another journey. I wanted to do so much more, maybe this is my wake up call.
In the course of these thirty days, I will tell you my story of pain and of happiness. Inspite of being tired, I will strive to defeat my depression once and for all.
Please be warned, things may not go as you might want them to, but if I do find the courage, I hope my words will be able to bring you some too.
If not, at least I hope you'll have a great story and if you're suffering the same date as I, I hope you'll find your reason to fight.
For now I bid thee adieu.

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