So, to celebrate my birthday and try to let the family have some fun, we went out to a hotel near Branson, MO.
Unfortunately, it was not as much fun as we had imagined.
Our room did not even have a bath tub, just a shower!
Even though it was a new hotel, the tile in the shower was already cracked.
We went to the pool, but it was only open from 10am - 10 pm, and NO lifeguard is provided.
The pool was only 4 feet 3 inches deep. What gives?
How can I swim in this?
As if that wasn't bad enough, children under 16 "need to be supervised." Now I'm supposed to watch my own kids?
We had brought some nice relaxing flotation devices...
But the water was too cold, so we had to resort to jumping on them just to stay warm.
Look at how much work my kids have to do just to try to have fun. This is ridiculous!
The only one who could even relax on our flotation devices was the baby.
To be honest, she just didn't know any better.
Then I noticed the POOL had "P" in it, so I switched to the hot tub.
That only added to our problems. The "hot tub" only went up to 102 degrees. I need at least 107 degrees to relax.
Rather than the standard lighting that I prefer, this hot tub had multi-colored lights, which aggravated me all the more.
Does it look like I'm having a "happy" birthday?
When it came time to dry off, the towels only had one blue line on them. What is this, a pregnancy test?
The problems continued when we tried to leave. Call me old-fashioned, but when I grew up EXIT signs were RED.
The only consolation that I really got was that you could still see an excavator outside in the dark.
I seriously thought about complaining, and demanding that this hotel buy me a free week at a better hotel! It's only right after all that they put me through, on my birthday nonetheless! But... it was my birthday, so I've got enough to deal with just with aging, and I didn't need any of their attitude.
proof-of-first-world-problem : "prune fingers!"
FOLLOW
Awesome Handcrafted @papa-pepper logo kindly donated by @vlad - Thank you!!
OPERATION TRANSLATION logo provided by @oecp85.
(click link above for more info on Operation Translation)
Happy Birthday to the most interesting:
pepper specialist
pistol whipped
scorpion eating
armadillo catching
moccasin wearing
forager
baby maker?!? (parasite?) Hahaha, even this one made me lol for real.
contest challenger
and all round best Wild Card ever!!! Funny, Halmark doesn't make a card for that...Happy Birthday!
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Ahhh, "pistol whipped," you were here for that one, huh?
THANKS @rebeccaryan!
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FYI:
You are part of my Steemit history and legacy @papa-pepper.
Your pistol post was the first post I ever read and I decided right then and there, as a result that the Steemit community was going to be a perfect fit for my lifestyle. True Fact!
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Wow! Then a thanks to @peacekeeper for suggesting that I share that story about 4 months back. It took me a while, but I told him I would!
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That's awesome lol
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Classic, bravo good sir!
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Thanks, very special to hear from you on my birthday!
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LOL This was funny! Especially the "P" in pool...isn't there always "pee" in pools? :)
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Sick, just sick.... and I'm sick of it!
If I ever have my own, it'll be an OOL, no P allowed!
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Lol. by the way, happy birthday!
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Thanks! - Never too old to have fun!
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This post has been ranked within the top 10 most undervalued posts in the first half of Dec 09. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $35.05 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Dec 09 - Part I. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
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Wow, @snoopdog upvoted your comment!
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Haha, this is hilarious! Do I detect a hint of sarcasm?
Happy birthday Papa. I'll eat green salsa in your honor.
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A hint?
Who are you, Sherlock Holmes?
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They call me Dick Tracy.
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Nice.....
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Happy birthday, you didn't look very happy.
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First world problems.....
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Its best too stay at home next birthday :)
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Perhaps you are right.
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haha, I know, EXIT signs that aren't RED bug me too!
Hey down there in Branson -- there is that big musical family that is super well known called the Dutton's - apparently they are related to me.
I hope you got pizza and caaaaake brother
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I was wondering about that!
I see the sign for "THE DUTTONS" all the time!
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They have a whole theatre there they built of their own. They are kinda famous, travel a lot or used to. Big family! Like yours lol.
Tell them I said hi from #Canadastan hahaha!
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I seriously wondered if they were relation of yours a few times every week lately.
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Oh yes, I forgot to tell you I did a TIL post in your honor. My meme-ing extravaganza (not called that haha) It's perfectly suitable for children ;)
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Thanks for letting me know!
I checked it out and loved it!
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Awesome! You're the man (the manly man LOL) ;)
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well, I hope you had a nice dinner, perhaps?
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Actually, it was one of most enjoyable ones I've had in a while!
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I love hotel pools.
They remind me of childhood vacations. It looks like your family had the pool area to yourselves, which is rare. I have been to hotel pools that were so full of rowdy kids that is was not unlike being in a wave pool.
I do think the pool hours are ridiculous. Check-out time is usually 11 am. I think a lot of guests get up early and would like a swim before 10 while the rowdy kids are still sleeping.
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Thankfully, they just unlocked the pool now per my request (I think they may have recognized me from online).
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Haha! Your fame is gaining you elite privileges.
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LOL!
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So you've entered into that stage of life, where you are shaking your fist at the sky, eh? Next you will be telling kids to get off your lawn! ; ) Happy birthday - maybe you got to see a Bald Knobber while you were there in Branson.
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Wait, kids were on my lawn. I'd better tighten my suspenders and get the leaf blower, I'll show them!
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So we'll be seeing you in suspenders, soon -- camo suspenders. It's a lifestyle, people! ; )
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CAMO - My favorite color!
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I hope you had some Camo & Cream ice cream with your birthday cake!
source
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Maybe next year!
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783 upvotes and counting?! It seem lots of people here enjoy sarcasm
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haha, sarcasm and bots LOL, beauty combo
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I think some bots enjoy it too.
Thanks!
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Guess "they" do! ;)
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;-)
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LOL Happy Birthday to you-happy day for everyone that you were born ;)
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Awwwww, that's so nice!
Thanks!
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I really don't know how you all coped!? lol
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After all these years, I've learned to stay strong when I have to... but it is hard.
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Well I hope it was a fun get away. The story was amazing. Hope you had a happy pepper day... wait I mean I happy birthday and great time with your family.
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We enjoyed it, and still got a continental breakfast coming and a little more pool.
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Happy Birthday @papa-pepper! After reading your traumatic story, I need to go to my safe space.
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A panic room is best, if you have one.
If you don't have one, after being exposed to this, you might want to build one.
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I have two actually. One for me and one for me.
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Very wise of you!
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What a terrible hotel. A greenlit Exit sign is dangerous. Time to send that Hotel Impossible guy to give cringey comments and fix the hotel up for them! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2129304/
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Yeah, something has to be done.
But, I must admit the wifi is the best that I have ever seen!
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WOW THE PRUNED FINGERS!!
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Now I've got 10 first world problems on my hands!
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Oh no! You can't even wash your hands from those. I hope you got a finger wrinkle straightener birthday present.
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They really make that? It's about time someone started to make some real solutions for real problems!
Thanks for the heads up, @artific!
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Happy birthday papa, hope you have a good one with your family :)
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We did!
Thanks @calaber24p!
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Read carefully the story and I imagined a joke of him, it would seem a film of hidden camera making a joke. Happy birthday my friend @papa-pepper
See the positive side, the step with your loved ones, there is no greater happiness than the family.
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A joke indeed my friend!
We are truly blessed and enjoying our lives!
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Sorry to learn you were disappointed with your hotel, but a very happy (belated?) birthday to you nevertheless!
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That was satire, making fun of the "problems" of people in the first world.
We are having a lot of fun!
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Oops! :))
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No problem, I just didn't want you to think that I was some crazy, insane jerk.
Crazy and insane are fine... but not a jerk! Anything but that!
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Since you don't look happy, I'll just wish you a birthday! Lol
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Some years, a birthday is all that you can hope for.
Life is hard....
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Good grief, you can see right through the shower door, has this place ever heard of privacy?
I'm mad just reading this.
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I know. I had even considered not posting because of some of the disturbing situations we ran in to. I knew it might frustrate some of my followers.
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That's reasonable, and appreciated. But if you did it that way, then we'd always just have to assume some small probability that stuff like this is going on, and we'd never be completely at peace. It's better to just let us know about it when it happens. Thanks.
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I'm glad that you appreciated my honesty... the truth will set you free.
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Ty papa
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At least I don't have to suffer alone!
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Whoa did you say the pool had 'P' in it? Is that what i think it is? Or just a play on words. Also I can see why the colored lights might tick you off, I guess they think we gotta be entertained everywhere like music at a gas station! Happy Birthday!!!
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Music at a gas station? I miss those days.
Now it's news at the pump, and then they thank me for making them the most watched news channel at the gas station pump, as if I had something to do with it..... why did you have to remind me of those problems on my birthday?
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chuckles Happy bday Pepper
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smiley face emoji
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At least the kids had fun on your birthday getaway :P
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They earned it, did you see how hard they had to work just to help us not waste the trip?
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I know man that was terrible. Something needs to be done with that hotel! Making children work hard to enjoy a trip. Smh
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Your only problem is that YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE REAL PROBLEMS ARE!!!
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I know, that's what I was making fun of.
All the detached, clueless people who complain about incredible blessings.
(you do know that this post was a joke, right?)
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Did you mean real problems like having to deal with CAPTCHA'S?
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Happy birthday 🎉 man I hope you don't let all those problems ruin your day. It's a tough world out there.
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36 years old, and I still feel like crying...
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I wish I was 36..great post btw!
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LOL, just more problems man!
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Happy birthday!!!! Upvoted and resteemed!!!!
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THANKS @riosparada!
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HAPPY B'DAY!!!
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Thanks! It's been a good one!
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Happy birthday papa!!!
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Look buddy, happy left this post a loooong time ago.
I'll take the "birthday papa" and you can send that "happy" to some other post!
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This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be HAPPY in it.
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Checkmate.
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Haha! The sarcasm is awesome ! I loved your post ! And by the looks of your pruned fingers i think you had a great time with your family on your birthday ! 🎉🎁🎈🎊👪👫 thanks for shareing ! Steem On ! 👍✌
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Click on the text beneath my pruned fingers to see more!
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Will do ! 👍
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