You Love Those To Whom You Give And The More You Give, The More You Love?

in fishlove •  7 years ago  (edited)

So much of what is love, is fish love." - Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski

The Rabbi came across a young man who was clearly enjoying the dish of fish that he was eating, he said to the young  man, ''Why are you eating the fish? - "Because I love fish.'' - ''Oh you love fish, that's why you took it out of the water and killed it.'' - ''Don't tell me you love the fish, you do love yourself because the fish tastes good to you, therefore you took it out of the water, and killed it and boiled it."

"SELFLOVE .....Not Fish Love" was my first thought. I have to learn to love myself before I can truly love "Another"!?

In every culture and religion we can find words of wisdom that unify humanity, in Islam "tahduu tahabu"( exchange gifts, as that will lead to increasing your love)

First Epistle to Corinthians 13:4-8, 13 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Image Source

I came across a video clip, one of my many single friends posted the other day and love was back in my mind, once again. It might be boring for some of you but for me it still is an interesting topic. I have so many girlfriends who never found the right partner and at some point our conversations end up with the big question: "Whats wrong ? Why not?" 

Some of us might have been very lucky to share passionate and true love with the so called perfect spouse they chose for life, some know pure love for their children or even their pets, some are still searching for the magic to happen but it does not. 

Love is a word, a feeling that in our culture has almost lost its real meaning. 

Image Source

A young man and woman fall in love, what does that mean? 

It means that he saw in this woman someone he felt could provide with all the physical as well as emotional needs. She saw in this man somebody, she can say "yes, that is love''but each one is actually looking out for their own needs....


Image Source 

Listen to the entire speech carefully and let it sink in for a minute and then please, tell me your thoughts. 

It's not love really for the other, the other person only becomes a vehicle for your gratification. 

Too much of what is called love is fish love. Love is not what I gonna get but what I gonna give. 

People make serious mistakes in thinking that you give to those whom you love. The real answer is you love those to whom you give. 

If I give something to you means that I've invested myself in you. Since selflove is given, everybody loves themselves, now that part of me has become a part of you, there's a part of me in you that I love. So, true love is a love of giving, not a love of receiving."

 

Image Source 

Now its your turn : What is Love for you?

 


Follow @mammasitta

 



Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Any way everybody loves themselves before they love someone else. It is the truth. They love someone else based on their selfishness.

One problem (at least in English speaking countries) is that the word LOVE encompasses a wide range of emotions. For example, Greek has 4 words in ascending order...
Eros... The lowest, basest form- physical love.
Storge... I love my dog- I love my friends.
Philia (Philos)... The love of knowledge, etc.
Agape... This is the love of the Bible, the highest form. Jesus said, "There is no greater love than to lay down your life for your friends." (Actually a bad translation- it should be "for your fellow man."

If you want a love that lasts you must get past Eros. One problem is "self-love" People say that you can't love another unless you love yourself. WRONG!!! You can't truly love another IF you love yourself. true love, as the Rabbi says, is giving, it is selfless. Love is not 50/50... Love is two people each giving 110%!

Great to describe Eros and all words explaining LOVE
So , I am all wrong to love myself first of all ?
I do know unconditional love ❤️ and I know that I am capable.
Still So much to learn.
Rabbi is such wise man and I wish to be as profound as him and other prophets.

I love Rich's reply, but disagree with this concept in the follow-up.
You must love yourself. But, the thing is, you do. Everybody does. It's impossible not to. Even if we do the most selfless acts, it's because that is what gives us the most sense of satisfaction. Yep, we're back to ourselves.
Jesus does tell us to love selflessly. But that does not preclude loving ourselves. In fact, He made it very plain that we naturally love ourselves when He commanded us to love our neighbors as ourselves. In other words, don't be a narcissist. Love others to such a degree that your greatest joy is in loving them. It's a choice (if it wasn't, it couldn't be a command) - one that rewards both the giver and the receiver.
Even Jesus' work on the cross was both an act of selfless love and an act that He knew would ultimately bring Him the greatest joy.

@anotherjoe
Thats the whole point indeed. I love Jesus so much! Who would not?
He did not teach us to be selfless but without self love we would not know how to love our neighbors.
I have the urge to reach the highest form of love and share it to the whole universe like
BUDDHA who teaches about Metta!
The Universal ❤️ for all mankind and living beings.

I found this here

The word 'love' is used to cover a very wide range of emotions human beings experience. Emphasis on the base animal lust of one sex for another has much debased the concept of a feeling of amity towards another being. According to Buddhism, there are many types of emotions, all of which come under the general term 'love' First of all, there is selfish love and there is selfless love. One has selfish love when one is concerned only with the satisfaction to be derived for oneself without any consideration for the partner's needs or feelings. Jealousy is usually a symptom of selfish love.
Selfless love, on the other hand, is felt when one person surrenders his whole being for the good of another. parents feel such love for their children. Usually human beings feel a mixture of both selfless and selfish love in their relationships with each other.

If I had to choose one lesson from Jesus it would to be... ALWAYS put others first. Self-love is just another word for selfishness. I am the LEAST important person in my life. I would gladly give it up to save another person. Eros is merely a chemical reaction that goes on in our brain (the releasing of hormones etc.) and has absolutely nothing to do with love in any significant way.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

So I am selfish but I give more to others who deserve it than I could give myself.
I could only give up on my own life for my daughter

That's fine... I look at it like this- there are 7 billion people on Earth and if I die today it won't make one iota of difference in the grand scheme of things. Sooner or later, we all wind up the same way... Dead.

You don't believe in reincarnation ? I do

I believe this is a test to determine where you go from here.

Hell or Heaven?
Yes, Life is a huge test but I don't believe in hell. Balinese believe that stray dogs are criminals and have only one chance to be reborn as humans. A good person needs to feed them.

Hi,Mammasitta! "Love is the one You; feel,show,share and make to grow"...I just started,today on this,and...LOVE always get my full atention...I hope I can share only good things like this one You share here...Thanks.

that is one fine lookin' fish you got there m'lady!
(sorry, I just couldn't resist)

but yes, very much agree... also, I believe that compersion is a very important quality in a loving relationship, so long as it's not a one way street.

“Compersion” is, basically, “I’m happy whenever my lover is happy.”

Hahaha ! I agree with you 1000% !
Nice fishy for sure 🐬
I didn't know this vocabulary but I know that feeling :) 💕

When we see someone and "fall in love," I feel we are falling into alignment. That resonance we immediately feel is our own awesome love being perfectly reflected back to us. and that feels pretty good. You are the mirror through which I feel my love.

thank you for a lovely read

Wow, amazing post.!!
Follow, upvote and Resteem @mammasitta

I am so happy to see new people and even more excited to hear that you liked my story. I will also follow you to see your articles . Nice to meet you

Giving without expecting something is such a wonderful feeling.


This song came into my mind after reading your lovley comment 💕

yes, remember many nights with this music

And this ?

than, you will get goosebumps with this one....

Wow yes I just had goosepumps ! Das ist ein Gutes !!!

#fishlove that has to be the best tag I've read today (followed it here from twitter).

Isn't it the perfect word for that kind of love . So cool I am not alone 🐠 . I hope some talented artists here in steemit create images for this tag . Just a hint for you awesome lady

My mind is already working on it... 🐟🐟🐟

https://steemit.com/art/@opheliafu/what-a-fish-face
This is an old painting of mine- but fits rather nicely until i create something new.

Wow ! That's amazing !! I hope more to come.....

hehehe... oh my goodness that image with the fish and the woman... its great.
Rad muffin tops! Love is awesome, like fresh muffins.

Yeah for sure a very strong image. I felt very much attracted, thinking of that kind of love we should rather avoid 😋 #fishlove

Lol!!! First time hearing those two words together! So interesting.

Such a cool and truthful word 🐬

Giving love is not natural. Giving love is an acquired state of mental focus. Conscious effort is required until giving to others becomes a part of your character. "I love you... I win!"

I have to think about this for a minute because first I would think love is the most natural thing I discovered inside myself. It's just there! I can feel it but never was conscious about it. Maybe blocked myself for whatever reason.
BTW Nice to know you :)

this is when, regardless of the conditions and conventions...it's when to fly and to fall and to fly again...it's like breathing

Breathing makes the difference for everything !

Wow..
Beautiful :*

Yes Love is beautiful :)

Yes, i very like it ^_^

We all do 💕💕🐬

Good!
Good job for you..

Still swimming in the thoughts of this beautiful read. Thank you :)

Love is the highest vibration

Great post. We should always give without expecting anything in return. Do it because you want to.Simple.

@rainbowsky your article about the strays and this kind and loving man who paid for, inspired me for my thoughts and story here.

I am so touched! Thanks for adding more love to my day!

My pleasure !!! Can never be enough of the lovey-dovey days 💕

image

I just went for a drink after writing this little story

I need to let such wise men's thoughts sink in and continue to work on the self- love I neglected for a while but no more ....

Always good to see you

I was also letting the thoughts , that were sparked by your offering, permeate, like verdant vapours....

For much of my life I was in self destruct mode, but I think that practicing self love was the beginning of that change, although it's still something that I challenge with daily. When fear and loneliness have sewn their seeds from an early age, it can really take a lot of undoing to free yourself from the patterned familiarity of accumulated neglect.

If love is the Sea, Its not always plain sailing.

I find that a regular yoga practice helps to attune me with the frequencies of love, or at least be more receptive and projecting of it.

Good to see you too. You always create such beautifully thoughtful posts :)

I think that all our diseases and pain come from a neglect of loving ourselves and being out of touch with the deepness of our emotions. We hide them and yoga practice especially daily meditation helps to find the truth. A 7 min Merkaba mediation is a part of my routine for many years. Have you heard about
@yogi.artist ?

I totally agree @mammasitta. So many personal struggles manifest as a result of this self neglect, and lack of awareness of the deep emotions. Often repressed for long periods of time, perhaps as instinctive self defence mechanisms of the monkey mind, it's easy to become oblivious to the extent to which they shape us mentally and physically, until the damage has been done. Thankfully these things aren't irreversible though.

I haven't heard of Merkaba, no, but I will check it out. Thank you.

I'm going to a FIRE AND ETHER: an immersion in sacred sound, breath and asana workshop tomorrow with @kalidas

Much needed, I'm really looking forward to it.