May 10, 2017
Dear Tostitos Brand Executive:
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing today to offer you an idea that would resolve a small frustration that I have with one of your products.
However, before all that, I must commend you. I love Tostitos. And not just the basic restaurant style…
Bite Size? Brilliant! The corners of my mouth don’t need to get salt on them from trying to eat too large a chip in one bite. Hint of Lime? Sure I was skeptical, but add some salsa and my taste buds are doing somersaults. Scoops? Easily the best edible spoon on the market (and that shouldn’t be taken lightly).
And that’s not even mentioning the dips. I love me some Tostitos brand dips. Although, this does happen to be where my problem arises.
Although I love all your dips, I have a special spot in my heart for your Salsa con Queso (call me a purist, I don’t care). This is a problem with all your dips, but for this letter I will refer to it as the Queso Problem.
The Queso Problem is due to the size of the lids on the jars of your dips. Once the top half of the jar has been consumed, further dipping becomes a sadistic game of operation, where the queso jar is the hole, the cheese is the organ, the chip is the tweezers and the punishment is far worse than the buzzing sound from the game: Dip all over your fingers.
Ok, I know that many will ask why I don’t just pour the dip out into a bowl. But why? Why should I have to pour out a dip, wasting the dip that remains in the jar? Why should I dirty another bowl, wasting even more delicious queso when some remains in that?
Now this wouldn’t be much of a letter if I didn’t offer a solution. That solution: Make the jar opening bigger! That may seem obvious, but before you roll your eyes and dismiss this, I have more. Make the jars not only bigger, but appropriately bigger. A wider, but shorter jar could have the same volume that you previously had (no re-pricing required!). Additionally, I'm confident you can find a size that will still pack the same amount of jars on a palette, and that sounds like a pretty good optimization problem to me (no extra shipping cost!).
Furthermore, I'm willing to offer my engineering skills (for a small consulting fee of course) to help with the design of a new jar (computer-aided design (CAD) models, drawings and all). I'm sure you have a very skilled marketing team, but I'm also willing to help you write some ad copy highlighting the perks of the new jar design (think "Dip-friendly lid" or "Enhanced dipping experience").
Sincerely,
Ben
Engineer
Tostitos Enthusiast
p.s. I realize that sometimes change is hard and is usually met with critics. In an attempt to anticipate and address some potential critics among the executives at your company, here’s some responses to have handy for two potential criticisms.
If there are concerns about the glass jar getting hot in the microwave, suggest moving to a plastic jar. This has the additional benefit of potentially using recycled materials. If people point out that you already have this in your product line in your Dip-etizers, point out the key differences between that and what I’m talking about. Dip-etizers are not re-sealable and they don’t come in many flavors…
p.p.s. Upon further thought, I'd be willing to renegotiate the aforementioned consulting fee to be at least partially in the form of Tostitos chips and queso...
I hope this helps. Thank you for your time and consideration!!
Brilliant, Brother Ben!! Hope they listen to you, those durtie burd Tostito execs!
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I hope so too, thanks for reading!
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That was fun!
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