RE: I don’t Cook Anymore

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I don’t Cook Anymore

in food •  7 years ago 

It’s harvesting season. I’m about to consume this filet this evening. I’ve been keeping her in cold storage for the past week, waiting on th perfect time to feast.

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Are you saving the black one for Christmas?

How did you know?
His claws are actually going to be the main appetizer. My family prefers something crunchy. Of course nothing goes better inside a martini besides a flavorful eyeball. I look forward to the holidays when I can celebrate some random dude and spend the late evening flossing my teeth with cat whiskers.

Let's be friends!

We can be friends, but only one one condition. You must give your blessing to the family dinner by way of a sacred ritual. I have the blood of an infant on hand if you really can't find that yourself.

Mkaaayy, I'm down with that.

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