Chicken Shit, or Chicken Salad…or guns?

  I recently took the leap and decided to get into chickens…ACCIDENTALLY.   

  Living 5 minutes from the Mississippi River in Baton Rouge, I often visit the levee to take advantage of a number of activities…namely fishing and the shooting of firearms…or just chilling and watching the tugs and ships go by.   

  About two months ago, I go out to the levee, and there’s a damn black chicken on the bottom of the levee blocking my way out to the river. Of course, I just picked it up and threw it in the back of the car, and proceeded out to the river to relax.   

  Bring the chicken home, but unfortunately, when I woke the next morning, it had passed in my garden.    

  The following day, I take my granddaughter Gabs out to the river to shoot some guns. She’s 14, but very well practiced with a number of firearms from 22lr to 357 mag, to shotguns up to 12 gauge. After pulling over the levee, another car followed us down. We spoke to the people, they turned out to be tourists from New York.  

  Before we could get our guns out, we turn around, and viola, ANOTEHR DAMN BLACK CHICKEN!   

  Well, of course me and Gabs chased and caught the chicken, who was much more lively than the one that had died in the morning…then threw it in the back of the car.  

  Spoke to the tourists again, and they are enjoying watching the tugs go by…”So, what do you guys come out here for?” asked one of the tourists, right as Gabs was taking the swinging 22lr target out of the car to set it up. “Well, we come out to fish sometimes, but today we are out here to waste some ammo, because a day wasting ammo, is never a wasted day.” I responded….  

Well, you have never seen a bunch of liberal New Yorkers get off of the levee any faster…it was priceless…

So, now, we have another chicken, and of course I had to bring Gabs with me to go and get chicken supplies. On the way back from Tractor Supply, she says, “We have to go back out to the levee.”

  “Okay, should we go get our guns?” I answer.   

  “No, we need to go see if there’s another chicken!” she said.  

  “There’s not going to be another damn chicken on the river, I mean, two in two days is amazing enough.” I said.   

  But, she’s my Gabs, so we go back out to the levee. Gabs likes to walk around and find spend ammo casings, so she started looking for brass, and all of the sudden, ANOTHER DAMN CHICKEN SHOWS UP!!!  

  This one is golden, so now we have Chickie Wah Wah, and Goldie Wah Wah in the back yard… 

  Well, after a couple months, I really took the plunge, and purchased some Rhode Island Reds that were shipped to the local Post Office.   

  A couple months later, and we now are breaking all kinds of local ordinances since you are only allowed to have 3 chickens in your back yard in Baton Rouge…but, screw them…we now have two full grown hens, and 6 two-month-old pullets…. 

  There’s no moral to this story except that several times per day I get to wash the chicken shit off the sidewalks…  

  Since my business partner has at least 100 chickens, I do have access to expertise, and in about two or three months I’m expecting to be producing 42 eggs per week…  

Wish me luck, I may have over done it.....