THE BEST RESTAURANT ON EARTH - HANDS DOWN! [FIRST EVER RESTAURANT REVIEW]

in food •  6 years ago 

Disclaimer: This is not a paid advertisement or any form of promotion. The owners/managers/employees have no idea I am writing this article/review about their restaurant.

Those who know me know I am a SNOB when it comes to food. What most people don't know about me is that every time I eat at a new restaurant I follow the same routine:
  • I order a couple small things (appetizers)
  • Then I order a larger item, usually something with multiple different MAIN COURSE foods on it.
  • I grade every element of the service, order-to-table time, and food quality on a scale of 1-10. I even grade the condiment items like Tartar Sauce, Cocktail Sauce, etc.

Up until today only 1 restaurant I had ever eaten at ever scored above 60% and that is "The Original Oyster House" in Spanish Fort, AL USA and they have routinely scored between 70-80% every time I have ever been there. Which made them my FAVORITE RESTAURANT. Sadly, for them, they are no longer my favorite as you will see soon.

New Orleans Hamburger & Seafood Co.

So I have been taking some much needed time off in Slidell, LA the last few days and noticed this place across the street from my hotel. I, honestly, was a little leery to try it out simply because of the name. The name makes it sound like Seafood is an afterthought, which I interpreted to mean NOT VERY GOOD SEAFOOD. Boy was I freaking wrong!

So I decided to try it out after three days of smelling their food wafting across the street every time I left my motel room. I walked over and immediately noticed that there was NO WAITRESS on duty. The interior was divided into a Bar area and a sit down dining area and the Bartender, an Older Woman, was taking care of the entire restaurant including busing all the tables. I was even more leery at this point but I ordered a Sweat Tea, a Cup of Gumbo and an order of Boudin Balls.

In less than 2 minutes all three items where in front of me and they where relatively busy with about half the seats taken by customers at the time.

Grading so Far:

  • Seated to Order Time: Less than 1 minute - Score 10
  • Order to Drink Delivery: Less than 1 minute - Score 10
  • Order to 1st Food Delivery: Less than 2 minutes - Score 10
  • Quality of Gumbo: Piping Hot, Great Flavor - Score 10
  • Quality of Boudin Balls: Piping Hot, Great Flavor - Score 10
  • Quality of Remoulade Sauce (Dipping Sauce for Boudin): Homemade, Extra Spicy - Score 10

I was so surprised that I scoured the menu looking for something else to order with multiple items to score. Then I noticed the "Taste of New Orleans" platter and ordered it. It included: Fried Catfish, Garlic Fries, Popcorn Shrimp, Red Beans & Rice, French Bread Slice, Cocktail Sauce and Tartar Sauce.

Grading of Main Course:

  • Order to Food Delivery: Less than 3 minutes - Score 10
  • Quality of Catfish: Great Flavor, Very Few Bones - Score 9
  • Quality of Popcorn Shrimp: Great Flavor, Freshly Cooked - Score 10
  • Quality of Garlic Fries: AMAZING - Score 11 (okay make it a 10 but they where that damn good)
  • Quality of Red Beans & Rice: Perfection - Score 10
  • Quality of Condiments (Cocktail Sauce/Tartar Sauce): Homemade, Fresh and Perfectly Seasoned - Score 10
  • Quality of French Bread Slice: Fresh baked, well buttered - Score 10

The only thing I didn't grade was the "Sweat Tea" because well it is damn near impossible to screw that up and pretty much tastes the same EVERY WHERE!

All in all I graded 13 items with a score of 129 points out of 130. That gives them a score 99.23% which is as close to perfection as is humanly possible (if you ask me and since this is my article/review you are reading you did).

Now I can't say that they are ALWAYS this good, but I can tell you that virtually every customer in there was a REGULAR. I know this because of they way they acted, talked and so forth. That is typically a good sign when at any given time 80% of your business is REPEAT BUSINESS.


They have 8 locations in New Orleans area and one in Slidell, LA so if you are ever anywhere near here you have got to try this place out.

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Make sure you follow me on Youtube @ VenusPCS!

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That "Taste of New Orleans" platter sounds divine!
Now I'm hungry and going to venture into the fridge so I can stare at the stuff that is not catfish, rice & beans and shrimp. Yogurt it is... sigh

So sorry about your bad luck! Too bad you aren't New Orleans!