So you stole our coach. So he beat everyone but Michigan in his first two years, in some cases two or three times. So you're still not satisfied, but are openly asking if a coach from the failed Pac-12 can possibly make it in the SEC.
I get it. You live in Alabama.
It's not a bad state. Our good friends showed me around a bit. I especially liked the Indian mounds by the tea-colored river. We passed through Tuscaloosa and saw your stadium, also a swath of destruction caused by a tornado that also passed through.
That must be exciting, waiting for tornados. It must liven things up considerably, between college football seasons.
You even have a few hills, up around Huntsville. I hiked around one of them, for several miles. One might even call it a mountain. Sure, call it a mountain.
I see you named your team "the Crimson Tide." Even though, generally speaking, red tides make seafood inedible. I'm not sure why you named your team after a harmful algae bloom. And in fact, your state's tides appear to be about three feet from high to low. Still, I guess you have to do something between football seasons. "Roll, tide!" I agree that the habit that gave rise to this famous cry is MUCH more exciting than watch paint dry. After all, you might even spot a crab under the seaweed, as the water -- I won't say pours in, but dribbles in.
So no bad feelings! Enjoy the next football season! (If you survive the tornados.) Maybe this will be your year! That will give you something to smile about, as you watch the water creep in and out, and Forrest Gump tries to catch you a few shrimp for your cocktails.