Watching football with a woman is really stressful.

Wife: which teams are playing?
Husband: Arsenal vs Manchester United
Wife : oooh wonderful! I love Arsenal..
Husband: that's a good team...
Wife: is Drogba playing?
Husband: he doesn't play for any of these teams...
Wife: okay sweeet...is that Chris Brown?
Husband: [bored] no he is Chamberlain...
Wife : okay but they look the same...what's that
yellow card for?
Husband: its a warning to the player...
After few minutes Wayne Rooney scores for Manchester
United....
Wife: [celebrates in high mood] is that
Chamberlain who has scored?
Husband: [calmly] no its Rooney for Manchester
United...!!
Wife: [furious] how? it should be Arsenal who should have
scored!!
Husband: [silent]
Wife: what is that red card for?
Husband : [bored] that means the player should go out of the
pitch for misbehaving.
Wife: then is he going to be a coach?
Husband:[unwilling to answer] aaaaaaa no...
Wife: its the same with traffic lights: yellow=warning;
red=danger.
Husband: exactly darling...
Wife :what about the green card?
Husband: mmmm nothing of that kind in a field of play....
Wife: I want Arsenal to win the world cup...
Husband: [silent]
Wife: who is that man standing who looks like Mr. Bean?
Husband: [bored] it's the Arsenal coach ....Arsene Wenger.
Wife: that means the other opponent's coach is Manchest
Wenger?
Husband: [changes the channel to Africa Magic]