I stare at the screen of my computer, frozen at the sight of the words that you wrote down. I devour each own trying to find meaning to the words, the phrase, the sentence and the paragraphs.
I look up and see your smiling face resting on one hand and a twinkle of a laughter in your eyes.
I wonder how you are doing? I wonder who makes you laugh now.
I remember the very cheery Hey!!!! that you use to start off your message. Then we would talk how our day was as I would tell you what happened to me yesterday and you would tell me about yours that just ended.
You always joked that I am from the future and was sent back to be with you. You always make me smile when you say that.
How often you would ramble on different topics, jumping from one and telling of another without rhyme or reason. It was part of your charm. Your quirkiness that I liked.
You would always complain that you don't go out enough but when I ask you to go, you say you just want to be lazy and not move. Sometimes I think you just want an excuse to stay inside.
We would watch series, we would discuss each scene and tell what we loved and what we hated and we often have to shout jinx as we blurt it the same time.
Sometimes you use me as your sounding board for ideas. You talk of the pros and cons and how you can go one way or the other. I silently listen and just nod as you decide what would be the best course of action.
During late nights we would cradle a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in another as I read to you. I often wonder why you liked being read but you would never answer.
Then the late night readings grew farther. The messages less often. I heard you were going on a business trip and that you would be back soon.
I waited...
Weeks turned to months and now I look back at your words and your smiling face. How are you now? Do you even remember me? That is something difficult when we never used any labels. When we never were sure if we were a "Us"
Here I am left with unresolved feelings and I don't know what to do except drink this coffee and hold your words.
lakas mkahugot sir @maverickinvictus...😁 but I love how you put your feelings into your words...full of emotions...hmmm...well, I wish you can find your happiness...may it be that someone you have mentioned or somebody else...you deserve to be happy...so, just chill and smile...☺☺
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Lol slight hugot ahhhahahahaha
Sometimes it goes well when I put down my thoughts and feelings into words.
Hahahaha all in proper time :)
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Nice Blog post
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Been dumped by a girl you loved but she was just a friend and you were never official?
Move on my little kuya, you will tie your self in knots as it eats you inside and you will never let go.
Get out there, its the Philippines, it's the home of gorgeous girls..they are everywhere!!
Go out this weekend, down 10 bottles of San Mig and hit on everything with a pulse. You need to get out of this stasis and look forward, not constantly giving it the big 'what if'.....
Imagine if you take old Nathens advice and meet the girl of your dreams whilst pissed as newt and then eventually get the happy ever after....
'What ifs' are much better applied to the future than to the past mate :-)
(Thank me later and have a beer for me too!)
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Ahahahha you just described my Friday night!! A lot of alcohol, gorgeous ladies and a haze of events.
There was a certain comfort with her and it was nice being around her but true enough some things just happen.
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aww @maverickinvictus, I can feel your emotions here, and I'm sorry that you have to deal with this.
In terms of writing, I love this:
My advice, if you're interested, is don't dwell too long on these things. She obviously didn't feel what you do/did, and you deserve someone who does. I think we also tend to romanticize our past relationships sometimes, and forget what it really was like.
Hope you find a way to get past all of this <3
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True Lynn and I have a habit of romanticizing my past relationships especialy my first love. It is remembering them with rose tinted glasses of yesteryear.
Thank you for tyou the kind words Lynn.
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You're very welcome @maverickinvictus!
My oldest recently broke up with his girlfriend of five years. One night he phoned me, sobbing, missing her terribly. After sending virtual hugs to him, I told him to take a deep breath and asked him if she ever really pissed him off. He of course said yes. Then I said, "really imagine the time she make you so angry that you felt like you were going to explode." He said ok. Then me: "do you feel better". He burst out laughing and said I get it.
When we're sad, we remember only the good times! ❤️
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Emotions are the most painfull of all roller coasters. Give me an adrenilen pumping wood and steel beast over the chemical based emotions any day.
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ahahha I am not sure on the adrenilen pumping wood and steel beast that sounds painful lol
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Butter smooth actually!
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I miss you, too, Mav!! Hehehe. Nag-fefeeling lang ako. :)) But whoever the lady is, I bet she's wondering about what happened, too.
Hugs!
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Ahahahhahah I miss you too!!! We have been both too busy!
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My commissions are keeping me busy for sure! T_T
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