Hello everyone! I'm back with freewriting! I had been gone for some time because I just can't keep my thoughts straight recently. And I'm really glad about the prompt today because I personally am undergoing some kind of switch right now or some kind of transition and I don't know how to handle it yet. But before I proceed, kindly check out @mariannewest and the whole freewrite community! So here we go 🤗 photo credits to tumblr

I wonder how everyone else do it. How everyone else cover the noise of the past and how they stop all those blurry images of drunken nights all wrapped in a high state of youth and freedom from resurfacing. Because I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to sleep at night not wondering what fun the late nights will bring if I had sneaked out and feel the ever cold freedom of the wind hitting us if we drive through the cold beaches and be foolish under the bright moonlight, drowning the night away with pure joy and loud laughter. I don't know how to look at the dawn without reminiscing the memories that had come with it: all those skinny dippings and boisterous laughters as we hazily wait for the first crack of light to touch the sky. I don't know how to look up at coffee without thinking of the million hangovers that washes away in every gulp. I don't know how to look at my bed without wondering how I managed to crawl all those mornings to sleep off the remnants of the midnight mayhem, and smile in my sleep for the beautiful night that has been -- those kind that reaches your heart, making it so full with so much happiness. And I don't know how to look at myself in the mirror without cringing at the different person I see. Those nights, those adventures, those memories, they made me feel. They made me feel young and free.

But then I realize that everything is so much different now; that no matter how much you love the memories, they will remain memories. Those kind that will keep on knocking at your doorstep at high midnight, not allowing you to sleep. And all you have to do is to try your very best to switch back to the present and focus on the responsibilities life throws at you as you grow.

I think I am undergoing some kind of transitional crisis right now, and I find it hard to deal especially that I'm always torn between having fun and other responsibilities. Oh well, I guess this all part of growing up. So cheers to growing up, I guess