A beam of lost universes [Day 101 Freewrite - Hardboiled Minds]

in freewrite •  7 years ago 

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Dedicated to Mrs F3nix

Hardboiled heads, floating in soul’s sauce.
Polystyrene tears falling from empty eyes,
Plastic laughter, avalanche of white noise.
Kindness is a paraffin ocean where I drown.

I dreamt of archipelagos blessed by a jester Lord,
where words were miracles, colliding in seas of gold
I dreamt too far, was this my stain?
Imagination, not knowledge: the curse, the shame.

Sudden beam of lost universes, through my essence
a thousand gates sang their opening as one.
We unveiled the truth beneath the words, to sail
together the seas and skies of thousands unknown worlds.

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This is such a fantastic poem. I love it and love the fact that it is directed to your wife.

It is amazing to have someone appreciate you for who you are and more amazing to be in love from both sides.

I hope I will have that kind of relationship one day :D

I have to say that i've been very lucky in meeting her.. you may see us in Ryanair valentine's day video as we've been featured by this flight company. Never loose that hope, I'm sure that out there there's a leaping kangaroo waiting for you Doc!

"We unveiled the truth beneath the words, to sail
together the seas and skies of thousands unknown worlds." That's such a beautifully crafted line. And..."I dreamt too far, was this my stain?", probably.

With dreams comes the responsibility to fight for them. Thank you for your comment :-)

You're right, and you're welcome. Love good poetry.

(unless you're a spy, put a picture and a personal description in your account, it's essential here on steemit 😉)

Thank you. I do intend to do that today. New on here as of last night. Possibly still a spy, though.

Oh sorry, didn't mean to say that I AM a spy, "he he, ha ha"...I mean I could be, right? Maybe? Who knows? Not me, I'd never tell...nooo, nooo, never.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Ok. Your answer made me understand that you ARE a spy!! Now I just need to guess for what organization you work.. Could it be the dreadful toilettes for squirrels masonic lobby? 😱

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

No! Dear sir, I AM, not...a spy. We've already been over this, geez, humans...

This is a great story of love, so close to Valentine's Day plus this was a tough prompt from @mariannewest for #freewrite. 😍

You are so funny!! You warn us when you write something lovely - but not when it gets dark and creepy. What is up with that?

First of all I like to do things upside down by nature.. where is the fun otherwise? 😜 Then here I just said that this was a poetry about love, for real .. in fact it is, or it should be heh.. well, mrs f3nix appreciated so my aim has been reached 🤭

It sounds as though she came in, brighter and richer than your dreams.
How wonderful that the two of you met and became the other's fantastic adventure! Questo es amorevole e bellezza F3nix! I truly hope that you are able to be together again soon.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

She's basically the engine of my creativity in my freewrites.. not the twisted ones, those are all me. In Italy we say that they are entirely flour from my sack 😁 Grazie per il tuo caro commento, amica!

While snacking on a tasty piece of Snook Fruit, I came across a delicious little platter of prompts left by the Goddess Marianne. As tempted as I was to keep them to myself, they looked too scrumptious not to share.

Freewrite Prompt Day 108

hahah the snook fruit...yummyyyy :-P

Great imagery. Wonderful lead into SciFi/Fantasy. I'd highly recommend Hyperion by Dan Simmons. Even if read it - I've done that three times. Very nice read...thanks.

Thank you Dennis, I'm happy that it was worth your time and I will check your suggestion. Unfortunately, or fortunately, based on the point of view, I'm lost in something that I'd hardly call a book, Infinite Jest by Foster Wallace. Infinite by name and fact, nomen omen.

I looked up I.J. - and it does seem that a person could get caught up in it for awhile. But, this summer I'm going to need a mind occupier and I'll put it on my list. Thanks

It's a real mind trip and it helped me a lot to improve my writing style. One of those books that, while you read them, you see the world through the book's specs. I don't know if this happens to you too..

It happens upon rare occasions, but it can. Sometimes, tho, it's like good music or a movie...it depends on my mood. I'm not sure if I go after a style so much as just trying to make a readable story.

My idea of going after a style usually is to ask myself "how the heck he could write something like this?" ;-)

I'm with you. To me, there's a flow in good writing. I'll read thru the flow, and then look back, smile, and think, Damn, that was a good ride. I guess it's like a great song: I listen to it, enjoy it, then ask how they do it and what appealed to me in it. I guess that's why I can read a good book a few times.

It is always nice to read such creative and interesting posts

Thanks! Glad you liked it

Love in Valletta?

The fountain has been fixed nicely have to say.. but I'm sorry for all the shops, now the square is too empty!

What can I say? Your use of the words makes me remain speechless. not only you're a skilled researcher of verbal constructions, but behind this there is the passionate and sincere soul in love.

Oh damn, I left your comment behind!! Do you really think that of me? Wow.. you did way more poetry than me so your comment makes me particularly happy.. thanks my friend!