room service // freewrite

room service.

---

Yesterday I was alone, and anxious.
In a new city (Girona, Spain), I was so hungry in my hotel room that I ate a kit-kat bar out of the mini fridge.

My friend missed her flight so I was alone in a different way than I had been before.
I was unexpectedly alone.

I wanted to go out and eat but I felt someone would judge me for being alone even though I’ve eaten by myself in countless other cities.

When I’m hungry, my anxiety gets much worse, so I felt my only hope for good was room service.

Next to the phone, I read the menu.
Lots of options I love.
I mean — they had spaghetti.
But for some reason, I was unable to pick up the phone and order.
I didn’t want the hotel to think I was alone, and afraid to go out.
It’s irrational, but I completely choked.
A friend from home said:

“just order food nobody will judge you. They don’t know your story, you good be a model coming their to work, or the heiress to w great fortune, or a business woman just stopping through, but you need to eat”

This made me feel a lot better but I was still too anxious.

So I got fully dressed to go out, nervous that I didn’t look good in clothes I normally love.
I put on a full face of makeup for the first time in many months, sunglasses,
and I went out.

I ate a burger at a vegan restaurant that only serves vegan things.
It was good.
It was food.
If anyone judged me, I survived it.

Today was better.

xx Monique

---

** inspired by:

https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-572-5-minute-freewrite-wednesday-prompt-room-service

Posted using Partiko iOS