Virginity simply means that you (a male or female) have not been involved in any sexual act. Being a virgin means you have not been defiled by someone or by yourself. It also means you are not guilty of lust of the eyes which the Bible sees as grave immortality: "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).
Keeping your virginity as a male or female before marriage is a very beautiful thing, and God cherishes it. This was why He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to earth through a pure female virgin, Mary. Mary was chaste.
Some virgins are pure: they portray godliness and good virtues/characters and are moderate in all their ways. However, there are some virgins who have obscene characters: they dress indecently and manifest ungodliness. Also, worthy of note is the fact that there are some people who are no longer virgins but are godly, decent, virtuous, temperate, etc. Some men marry virgins and still go through hell in their homes because of the bad characters of their wives. This justifies that virginity is not a guarantee for godliness, peacefulness, decency, and other positive attributes. To justify this, further, we need to consider some men who married girls who were not virgins but currently enjoy blissful marriages.
Sometimes, we, humans, because of our inquisitive nature, love to ask our leaders (religious, social or political) questions. It is very helpful to ask (relevant) questions. They are good, and they help us to know more and become better persons, especially if apt answers are given. My case was attended to on a particular occasion. I asked a question at church and got a lucid and honest answer. I have woven the narrative. Kindly, read it.
During a Sunday service, our Youth Counsellor was preaching to the youths. The topic was "chastity".
She told us the meaning of chastity: the quality of being chaste, the state of abstaining from any form of sexual activity considered immoral, avoidance of sexual sins, and moral purity. She advised us to run away from fornication. To strengthen her counsel, she quoted 1 Corinthians 6:18-19: "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?"
The excerpt was powerful, as it really touched the hearts of many. To satisfy my curiosity, I decided to ask the Counsellor if she was a virgin when she got married. I asked her, and the atmosphere there changed immediately.
Every attention was feasting on me. From the reactions, I knew that everyone felt that question was too daring. I was roped by fear. Regret was crawling on the turf of my mind. "I should not have asked her. It is too private a matter. I should have asked her via WhatsApp," I said to myself, as my confidence bowed to the discomfort sprouting from all parts of me.
She took a deep breath. I panicked. I did not know what would become of me. Contrary to my expectations, she gave an engaging narrative of her life:
"Throughout my childhood (until I got married to my husband), I lived with my mom. I was told by my mom that my father died many years ago. I grew up in the way of the Lord, not knowing any man and always rejecting the enticements and advances from them. I had always told myself that I would remain a virgin until I got married. I made sure my dressing was decent, and I always avoided night parties.
"One day, my mom called me and said there was something she wanted to tell me. I received the first shock when she told me that my dad was not dead, but was sentenced to life imprisonment. My eyes could not hold back tears. Immediately, I saw my mother who trained me up in the way of the Lord as a chronic liar. I had wanted to walk out on her, but she pleaded with me not to leave; that there was more to tell me. She told me that when I was three, she caught my father, raping me at their matrimonial room. My mother said the scene petrified her, that she could not believe what she saw. She told me that she cried to a police station and reported the sacrilege. She said my father was later sentenced to life imprisonment.
"I fainted and went into coma for three days after I was given the devastating news. My Christian faith was almost assassinated by the news but thank God for the Bible which became my companion. I got over the news but very sluggishly.
"I held on to my promise, and I got married without sleeping with any other man. And today, I am blessed with a good husband and four children."
At the end of the story, we were all dabbing the tears that had invaded our faces. It was a touching story. The narrator's wipe was also drenched in tears.
She broke the silence and shock. She continued:
"At three, I knew nothing (good or bad). I did not even know if I was defiled or not until I was told, and from then until I knew the difference between good and bad, no man or woman had carnal knowledge of me. I also did not get involved in self-pleasure. It was with my husband I had the experience."
"So, would you consider me as someone who was chaste before marriage or you think the sad incident made me unchaste?" she asked us.
I screamed, "Madam, you were very pure! You had a full dose of chastity!"
Someone else said, "Madam, for me, you married chaste; and I believe God also sees it this way."
Now, my question to you, reading this, do you consider her as someone who was chaste until she got married or you think the incident when she was three made her unchaste? What is your take?
NB: These Photos are used solely for description pumarrie.