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I wrote a post a while ago about how I used to be a referee before I had an issue with my back and had to stop doing something I loved and was passionate about. There were lots of perks being involved as a referee , but it did create some unforeseen headaches.
Every year when the International matches occurred we would be offered tickets and could pick and choose matches that we wanted to go and watch. They weren't just any tickets and were normally in the VIP section around halfway with the other dignitaries. The first year I went and realized what the perks were and ended up sitting next to one of the owners of a Premiership club. We got into a betting match as I said who would win and obviously he was backing England and fell for it. I won and refused his money and saw I was pulling his chain and enjoyed my humor. I saw him a couple of times afterwards at other games but we have lost contact now.
The following year was a world cup year and again the tickets were offered, but game by game. I started receiving phone calls from people that I hardly even knew about a month before the tournament started. I had no idea that they were just after the much sought after tickets. I had become Mr Popular for what I could offer and not for being me. Some were friends of friends all after the same thing.
I managed to sift through who were the genuine ones and made a rule that if I hadn't spoken to them in the last 6 months they wouldn't get on my list. i was not one to abuse the system as it was my name and not theirs.The first game I had 12 tickets which was in Paris and a quarter final which my team won. After the final whistle blew my phone rang and it was the Referee society offering me tickets for the next game at Twickenham basically asking me how many I needed. I took 12 again and was on condition I wouldn't take for the final if my team wasn't playing.
I never just took because there were others who would like to see it as well and if my team wasn't playing let someone else enjoy the experience. I have always been like that and others probably would have taken them and sold them for huge profits. Because of my attitude I was always offered first and normally turned them down.
It taught me something though to know who your real friends are and I don't mean acquaintances but friends. I only have a handful now plus a few school mates who I normally speak to a couple of times a year to just catch up. You know it's just different as even though you haven't spoken for ages it seems like yesterday with them. That is true friendship I think and have never had hundreds of people who I call friends.
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Exactly, a true enemy is better than a fake friend.
True friendship is rare because it has great value.
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Woooo that’s my tickets sorted for Japan so! Ireland will win it if day! Are South Africa still a bit shit these days ?
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I have to agree with that. If there is one thing that divorce has taught me, it is who your friends are. I've been in a similar situation when I used to work for Motorola for 23 years. We had a suite that seated 12 for the local Philadelphia, PA USA hockey and basketball pro sports teams (Flyers and Sixers). It was truly box suite seating. Most of the tickets were reserved for customer giveaways, but there are quite a few games in the hockey and basketball seasons. We even had access when the minor league hockey team played as well, which obviously were easier for mid-level managers like myself to obtain.
It is a strange thing with tickets. Sometimes, I'd have as few as 4 or 6 tickets, and sometimes I'd have all 12 to giveaway. These tickets were valued at $1000 each plus an open bar and buffet, private bathroom for the suite only, along with a sofa and chairs living room style area as well as the stadium seats.
I could ask 10 people to go, and sometimes I would get 3 that might want to go. Then when I'd have 4 tickets, I'd have 6 people wanting to go. Once I got them there, some of them would simply be looking at their phones at Facebook or just figuring out ways to do anything other than watch the game.
They were after all, representing me to an extent, especially if I only had half of the suite. If the other 6 tickets went to another employee, I would look like the fool if someone were acting inappropriately or simply look like they were not interested.
The biggest insult that helped me weed out people would be the "call outs" or "no shows". I'd offer someone or some couple tickets, they'd say they were coming, I'd either give them the tickets beforehand or come down the VIP elevator to meet them at the entrance to hand them to them. If someone didn't come, they were permanently off the list of eligible guests.
After awhile, it almost became work to get people to go, which made me face a sad reality that the people who I thought were my friends, weren't really good friends. I don't have hundreds of friends, despite what Facebook may tell you. I don't even know that I have "friends" that exceed more than a handful. Divorce makes people choose and they choose based on skewed criteria in a hurried state and are often in favor of the woman, which as a man, leaves me looking like a criminal who should never be spoken to ever again.
I've even lost what were a few of what I considered my best friends in the divorce. I don't even know why to this day. I can only assume that their wives simply want them to stay away from me so they don't get any inspirational ideas from me. I guess I don't need them. It just feels odd since these were people from 5th grade and 10th grade, who I was in touch with regularly all the way until around age 40. I'm 47 now and as far as a few of them know, I could be dead and they wouldn't know it. The others just seem to pretend I don't exist. I still have some of my high school friends, unlike many people. We get together semi-regularly. Kids have complicated that process significantly for most of us. As they get older, its been getting easier again, but the 10 or more years of gap there put more space between us all.
Life is a strange things. Social dynamics are difficult for me to maintain. I wish I knew some people's secrets to keeping a fun and good friend base.
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