I Suck at Friendships

My friend @stellabelle is an amazing, brilliant, creative person. I admire her. Many of you know her here on Steemit but I am lucky to have her in my life. But....I Suck at Friendships. The great thing with my friendship with @stellabelle, she doesn't care that I suck at it. She would probably say she does too. What I love about our friendship? It is so much fun in the moment. We really brainstorm and get creative together. We both are great thinkers and stretchers of the mind. We gel this way and that way and back again. Sometimes there is a point and a continuance, but mostly its just for the moment processing and creating. When we are doing our thing together in those fun moments, it reminds me of my sister who is no longer here physically.

My sister, Lynn, was my first introduction to friendships through sisterhood. She was 8 years older than me and was the only person in my life that loved me unconditionally - not my mother, or stepmother or my father, just Lynn. My life was pretty lacking in enough love from those around me other than my sister, that I suffered from a deep emotional black hole that led to co-dependency and love addiction in my teen years to 30's. It also made me a lousy friend, because I would drop a friend to be with a man 24/7. Not proud of that time of my life.

Now I have more to give as a friend and a little better understanding of how to nurture friendships, but its hard because most of my friends are like me, very independent, creative, busy women. We forget to nurture and give to each other regularly.

Society doesn't really teach us how to be good friends, there aren't many movies, tv shows, books on the subject like there are on primary love relationships. I was never taught by my mother, stepmother, sister, church ladies, teachers etc... on the basics of friendship.

So even though I Suck at Friendships, I know it, admit it and doing my very best to be better one day at a time and one friend at a time. Maybe there is a self help group for me somewhere! :)