I'm on the mend at home

I got here Sunday night and boy am I happy to be home! I have to keep this short because my energy and attention span bear a strong resemblance to Swiss cheese. I have some particularly gnarly photos to share but I can’t bring myself to look at them right now because… well, they’re gnarly.

I’m doing a little better every day but I'm having a hard time getting around because the stitches limit my movement. Whenever I want to go from horizontal to vertical (or vice versa) I have to sneak up on it nice and slow, or else I get zapped by level 11 pain and end up freezing in place til it passes… coughing, sneezing, and (especially) laughing are out of the question! I found that out the hard way!

To help me cope with this, my doctor prescribed Percocet. It’s been 6 years since I weened myself off this horrible drug, DYI-style, so I’m not too happy about using it. I took it for my back problem for 5 years straight and it was very hard, physically, to detox from it when I was ready to stop. However, I’ve never craved it again since quitting so I don’t feel I’m at risk to fall back into that old trap. Besides, I can’t imagine going through this without the relief Percocet provides so I’m treating it like any other tool in my toolbox. I don’t enjoy the wobbly high I get from it and I totally hate the itchiness and nausea. So, like, of course my doctor prescribed 3 additional drugs to balance the bad effects out… and of COURSE those all have their OWN problems. Don’t get me started on Big Pharma and the US medical system! I’ll pull a stitch WITH all the fist-waving and teeth-gnashing.

So, yeah… this is a really big challenge for me but I have plenty of help. I’m very grateful for my son and my sister for showing up and kicking ass all over the place. They make me know that no matter what happens, I am loved. That’s a precious gift and I feel really fortunate to have it.

I sleep most of the time but I'm still trying to keep busy whenever the brain fog clears up for a minute. I just can't get enough rest and the slightest bit of activity is exhausting. It feels like an energy deficit that I can’t get back up to zero so I can get ahead. As much as I believe the surgery extended my life, I feel like it shaved a little off the top as a fee- up front!

I’m getting really anxious to get back to work. The weird dreams all the drugs and the physical discomfort are giving me are FULL of great ideas for art. I’m keeping a very sloppy list of ideas saved in the hope that when this is over, I’ll be able to read my own handwriting enough to remind myself about them.

Anyway, that’s my story, starring me and my brain damage progress. Thanks to everyone who has been showing up here. Your comments have been a source of good company. I’ll be back with the rest of the story and more of a plan for this project as soon as possible.

In case you missed it

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3