What’s up internetizenz? Happy Friday and Merry Christmas, or if Christmas isn’t what you’re into then just pretend I said whatever makes you most comfortable. Whatever today is, it’s the day for me to post a blog, so that’s what I’m here to do.
The question is, what do I blog about today? Politics? COVID? Trump? Biden? All their crazy followers? It’s Christmas damn it. Who wants to talk about any of that? I don’t know about you but that writing about that shit all the time gets on my fucking nerves. I’m sure nobody wants to read about it on Christmas. I know technically this is going to be posted the day after Christmas, but that’s kind of still Christmas. It’s Post-Christmas or some shit like that. That’s the day the stores open back up and everyone rushes out to get discounts on all the shit the Capitalists couldn’t quite shove down their throats all the way before. They’re like “FINE! We’ll take 5% off! Now open up!”
But Christmas is a special day. Especially if you work in retail. Because after Christmas, you don’t have to hear 6 different versions of the same 5 Christmas songs ever day anymore. Every time I hear young Micheal Jackson shout “UP ON THE HOUSETOP! REINDEER PAWS….” I’m like “Hey! Reindeer don’t have paws! You lying little shit!”. So I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore. But that’s not all it’s about. It’s much more special than that. I’m not talking about some fat fuck flying around on a sleigh giving toys to kids who somehow managed to not piss their parents off all year. See when you think of it like that, the numbers of houses Santa has to visit in a night are drastically reduced and the whole idea becomes much more plausible. But no! As a certain Grinch learned one fateful Christmas Day, Christmas means just a little bit more. And I’m not talking about some fast teenage girl getting knocked up and managing to convince everyone that God was her baby daddy. There’s not much evidence that that whole thing ever happened, but it does make a good story. Even if we all know that this story matches the origin story of several other gods being worshipped at the time. But what they all have in common is that they were born on December 25th. And that’s because that’s the day after the Winter Solstice when the Sun begins to sit higher in the sky, and the days become noticeably longer. It’s when the light begins to return to our lives, and hope begins to return to our hearts.
So whatever you call it, Christmas, Saturnalia, Friday….., I hope you all had a particularly enjoyable December 25th. And may the light of the returning Sun fill your soul in the coming new year. Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and fuck it! Before it fucks you.