_{I’m only giving this one star because Steemit doesn’t let me give zero stars.}

This terrible lame excuse for a hike deserves ZERO STARS

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You see that dumb rocky snowy pile of disappointment right up there? Let me tell you right now, don’t even bother trying to hike it. Why? Well, first of all, there's no trail!! You have to find your way up there all by yourself! Second of all, half of those rocks are loose and so you never know if the rock you step on is going to be stable or if it's going to just up and We Will Rock You all over the place like a Queen CD in a Discman that doesn't have Electronic Skip Protection (ESP)! Speaking of which, who the hell doesn't have Electronic Skip Protection (ESP) on their Discman these days? What is this, 1995? I've had a Discman with Electronic Skip Protection (ESP) for at least a year now. I also have Mega Bass.

Third of all, you have to hike up through all this dumb bullshit scenery to get up to the dumb rocky snowy pile of disappointment.

Look at all this dumb bullshit scenery

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_{Terrible hike,
terrible experience.}

You see all these pictures?

Look at all these pictures!

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They all look the same!

It's just more of that dumb bullshit scenery!

Just more of the same!

ONE STAR

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_{Take this pill and}

you'll feel better,

_{they said.}

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Take this pill and

you’ll feel better.

So I took the pill. I took the pill! Even though they all look the same. All the pills look the same, they all look the same! This pill looks the same as the last one! But I took it because they told me to, because at this point I'll try anything that even remotely suggests it might be a successful tool in my fuckup recovery, including taking pills and climbing dumb rocky snowy piles of disappointment. How many times did I take that pill? So many times! So many times. It doesn’t matter how many times, though, because it doesn’t work — it doesn't work, ONE STAR, but only because Steemit doesn’t let me give ZERO STARS which is what it deserves. What a lame excuse for a pill! NEVER AGAIN. It doesn't work. Excuse me, I have to go now. No reason. No particular reason at all. I have a thing to do. It's important. No, it doesn't involve driving. I'm fine. I’ll be back to finish up this post in a few minutes, so don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere. Thanks for waiting, be right back. BRB

BRB,

ESP,

terrible,

terrible,

ONE STAR

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ZERO STARS

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Hello from the high Rockies of Colorado. My name is Brandt, pleased to meet you. I’m a writer but I don’t know why. I live in a little ghost town called Leadville. If you like mountains, snow, pills, ESP, jokes, running, hiking, breathing, not working, etc., then you and I have a lot in common. Thanks for stopping by, and have a lovely day!