So here's a late-night/morning funny story for you all

in funny •  7 years ago  (edited)


Hey, everyone.

So in order to properly introduce you to this story, I need to introduce myself.

  • Before we start, I would like to apologize for any grammatical, spelling or stupid sentences sincerely. I am piss-drunk right now, so I assume that is an entirely fair excuse.

My name here on Steemit, as you can probably see, is backglass – I am a twenty-year-old male working at a night club. I have some amazing colleagues who are loads of fun. We share a lot of amazing experiences together, whether it be at work when we are partying or outside the night-times. Alongside that, we do a lot of funny, fucked up and weird shit together and against each other.

This story I am about to share with you is from today - it is one of many amazing stories, these so called other stories are some I might share with you all in the future, considering how you are going to take/handle this one.

Alright, let's begin.

I have a colleague who for some odd reason just loves getting his shirt ripped off at work and when he is partying - we pretty much just flow with his bizarre fetish, considering he has an amazing and funny personality. He makes up for his weird shit. This colleague of mine, let's call him Mark. Well, Mark and I, alongside a whole lot of others, were NOT at work tonight, so as an average weekend where we do not have to work goes, we party. Mark and I were pretty fucking drunk, and we decided we wanted to try something funny, so I went over to my other colleague, let's call him Stan. I told Stan about my idea, and he absolutely loved it.

Stan and I went into the bar; we grabbed two lighters, a bottle of Sambuca, some lamp oil and a spray bottle, we then filled the spray bottle up with lamp oil.
We went over to Mark and ripped his shirt off, poured the entire bottle of Sambuca out over his body and started attempting to light Mark on fire, needless to say; it worked .. sort of.
Mark had blue flames up from his abdominal hairline, up to his chest - let's just say where the hair previously was, is now gone.
Well, we decided to say fuck that, so we started spraying the lamp oil from the bottle, while holding a lighter lit in front of the burst of lamp oil, so we were pretty much just spraying fire on Mark. Mark was so close to pissing himself, it was funny as hell, and everyone who was at the club to party LOVED it.

At 5:00 AM when we closed, we sadly had to do a ritual due to the fact that one of our colleagues quit due to a new career path that had forced him to move away. Apart from the sad side of the story, we had loads of fun with our ritual.

  • This ritual consists of 10 cans of energy drink, a shit ton of rapeseed oil and another bottle of Sambuca. First, you pour rapeseed oil all over the flower, sort of in a path of a bowling alley, you place the 10 cans of energy drink at the end of the alley, lined up as if they were bowling pins, you then take the Sambuca, pour it on each of the sides of the alley and light it on fire. What we then are met with is a bowling alley made out of 10 cans of energy drink, rapeseed oil and to indicate how wide the bowling alley is, we pour Sambuca and light it on fire .. Pretty simple, right?

Our colleague who quit, let's call him Jack, was scared shitless, probably due to the fact that he had to drive home in his car while being poured to shit with rapeseed oil .. oh, did I say his car is completely new and is a BMW M5. Yeah, he should probably take it to the cleaners Monday.
Well, Jack no longer has hair on his body. We all hugged him good-bye and wished him bests of luck on his new career - of course, we will be seeing him monthly, if not weekly at our poker tournament alongside at the club. You honestly never quit this job, as you will always be loved, known and you will always come back.

Thank you all for reading this story about my night at the club. I wish you all a very fantastic morning, day and night - depending on what timezone you are in.
Sorry for the shit-storm of text and the humiliatingly weird story. Love you all.

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