Honeymoon Mishaps

A couple I know went to Italy on their honeymoon and I was eager to find out how they got on there because we are regulars in Italy and go at least once a year. I put Venice on their must see list and they did spend a couple of days there. When I asked them how they got on they said that Venice was awfully expensive especially the gondola's to get from one side of the street to the other. I was a bit confused by what they were saying as there are thousands of bridges in Venice so you can walk to 99% of locations. A gondola ride would be considered a treat to take a romantic ride around the city and it is also considered a tourist trap but ya gotta do one if you are there. When I quizzed them more they did indeed say that it cost them €30 to get a 40 second gondola ride across to their hotel. The two apes were taking the tourist gondolas to cross the waterway when there was a bridge beside them. They were robbed blind twice a day getting to their hotel. I think a couple of days in Venice cost them well over €1000 and the guinneas book of records for Most Gondola Rides.

Then there was Tom and Mary. Never out of Ireland in their life. And off they go on a safari on their honeymoon. They hit down around 10am and the safari had well gone out at this stage. The receptionist told them they could take a trip around the grounds but not to head to far. She gave them a quad to look around. So off they went, Tom driving and Mary on the back. Mary was warning Tom not to go too far but Tom being Tom tested the boundaries and went a bit further out than he was meant to. They came across a safari jeep and the ranger told them to get the fuck back to the resort as they were out too far and there were lions spotted in the area. So Mary hit Tom a slap on the head and Tom headed back in. As they were driving back Tom saw something in middle of the road up ahead. Both of them were a bit short sighted and it was only a blur at first but they had stumbled upon a Rhino. They stopped the quad about 50 metres from the beast. Mary panicked and made a run for a tree and climbed up it. When rhino started walking in their direction Tom followed Mary up the tree. So there they were in 40 degrees , first trip abroad, first day on honeymoon up a tree with a Rhino looking up at them. Mary freaked out at Tom obviously
You're not in Ireland now you eejet! After a half and hour up the tree both began to get a bit uneasy and Tom was starting to burn as he was a ginger. Luckily the ranger who spotted them notifyed the resort and they sent out another ranger to escort them back. He hunted the Rhino away and made sure they got back OK.

The next day Tom and Mary were having breakfast and the guy serving their orange juice asked them if they went on safari yet. They had just been out on their first one. He said that a couple of Irish numptys had to be rescued down from a tree yesterday after going out on their own on a quad. He laughed while doing the universal mental sign.

Lucky they weren't killed
Tom and Mary laughed nervously and went along with the story
Where are you guys from?
Scotland replies Mary.

Mary then had to spend most of her honeymoon talking to the waiter every morning in a Scottish accent to escape her fib. When Mary got home she let everyone in work know what happened and that's how I found out the story. Tom will never live this one down.