The following text is what's called a "paradoxical encomium", a text written in praise of something that can't be praised. It was mostly used as a test of rhetorical skills in ancient Greece and Rome. People wrote such texts about flies, fog and even puke. The results can often be somewhat comical, which is why i decided to upload one such text i wrote in the middle of may 2016 here.
Fat, even though it has a negative reputation it is not nearly as dangerous as other things of the body, such as a tumor or kidneystone. The tumor is nothing less than a mistake during cellular division, while stones are made when the kidney can't do it's own job properly. No! Unlike these things, fat is something every single one of us willingly invites into our own body as energy storage for meager days. This way, fat people can survive starvation longer than they otherwise would have.
There are many a noble animal that sees this as their natural way. Both the elephant, today's largest land animal, and the blue whale, the grandest creature that has ever resided on this Earth. Both these animals are honored for their size and beauty. The blue whale has even become a symbol of the untamable, as it is too big for any man to imprison.
The fat itself has a white-yellow color, like some of spring's flowers, and just like a glorious flame, it's consistency is neither solid, liquid nor gas.
Without fat, we would never have known such fine shapes as boobs, which our nature dictates us to like, or else a mother's breastfeeding would have failed.
And this is how fat manages to seduce innumerably many of us mortal, petty humans. Very often it will happen without us knowing before we've already been taken. Oh yes, the fat is truly so cunning, that even the highest educated of all people can become overpowered. And if one looks at history, it is very clear that those who most often let themselves be persuaded, are those we let rule our lives and lands, kings and sultans and lords.
To avoid the fat's mighty grip, we must continually fight back in a neverending battle that we can only say we have won on the day we die. One might even go so far as to say that the fat has set out on a campaign to conquer as many people as possible. So if such praised men can live happily after their internal siege, what could possibly be the reason for us pitiful, plebeian and powerless to resist?
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