Hey.

You.

Yes, you, I’m talking to you. What are you, lost in daydream land again? Why am I not surprised. Snap out of it. Let’s go grab a quick sunset shot. I’m thinking we drive down to Missouri Gulch and start from there. No need to bag any peaks, maybe we just go up to Elkhead Pass and shoot from there. It won’t take long but we need to leave soon if we want to get up there in time. Go get your pack. Toss in a few of those rectangular, pre-baked, convenience food toaster pastries that the Kellogg Company introduced in 1964 and a bottle of water, that’s about all you’ll need. Maybe a jacket in case it gets chilly. Hurry up, let’s get going otherwise we won’t get up there before the sunset. This is going to be the best sunset shot ever.

What? No, I’m driving. I don’t care if you get nervous in the passenger seat. I’m driving so you’re just gonna have to deal with it. Don’t be such a baby. I’m a good driver. I’ve never been in an accident except for a couple times and they weren’t my fault. Well, the cop gave me a citation for that one with the bus, but how am I supposed to know it’s a two-lane road if there aren’t any lane markings? Fucking Wisconsin. Not my fault.

Shut up and stop complaining about my driving or I swear to god I will drive us off the road and right into the Arkansas River. For the love of god. No, we’re not there yet. Asking that question repeatedly is not going to get us there any faster, so will you just stop asking me? Thanks. Oh look, here we are. We made it. We’re here. See how fast we got there once you stopped asking if we were there yet? Get out. Start hiking. Here we go. Up. I don’t want to hear a single word out of you between here and Elkhead Pass, you understand?

…

…

Okay, great. We made it and for once in your life you managed to be quiet for more than 5 minutes. Let’s get set up right over there by that cairn there. Go ahead and pull out the tripod and —

what? You didn’t bring the tripod? How are we going to do a professional photography without a —

what??

You didn’t bring the camera??

You were supposed to bring the tripod and the camera and all the camera gear. I told you very specifically to bring all of that stuff, and I quote:

Go get your pack. Toss in a few of those rectangular, pre-baked, convenience food toaster pastries that the Kellogg Company introduced in 1964 and a bottle of water, that’s about all you’ll need. Maybe a jacket in case it gets chilly.

You just never listen to me.

I don’t know how I could have been any more clear than that. So much for doing a professional photography today. Nice going. Now all we’re gonna get is a crappy cellphone photo. I guess it’s better than nothing but still.

I’m tired. Because of all your whining, that’s why. I’m going to take a quick nap. Wake me up when the sunset startzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOH!

Whoa!

Would you have a look at that! That is a pretty great looking sunset right there! Good color. Great composition. Excellent everything else that professional photographers like to talk about. Totally worth the hike, and putting up with you. Wait.

Wait.

Why is the sun over there? That is not west.

Wait.

Dammit.

That's east. That’s the sunrise. It’s morning. It’s the next day. We missed the sunset and somehow slept all night out here and now I’m gonna be late for work. You didn’t wake me up. What the hell! Why didn’t you wake me up??

You suck, @otherbrandt.

_{Now carry me down the mountain and fetch me coffee. I’m tired.}

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Hello from the high Rockies of Colorado. My name is Brandt, pleased to meet you. I’m a writer but I probably shouldn’t be. I live in a little ghost town called Leadville. If you like mountains, snow, jokes, hiking, photography, @otherbrandt, breathing, not working, etc., then you and I have a lot in common. Thanks for stopping by, and have a lovely day!