ORDO AB DIVINA TEMPLI ALPHA MUSACEA PRIMORDIO
O.A. D. T. A. M. P.
"The Divine Temple Order of the One Primordial Musacea"
Ordo Templi Musacea, The Divine Order of the One Primordial Musacea or just for convenience the “The Banana Cult” is a religious order that fanatically follows the belief that whole entire universe, all the surrounding multiverses, the spiritual and manifested world all springs from one single source identified as one particular single banana. It is said that: “ First, there was banana, then infinite darkness, silence and void, then there was light and creation came into being”. Followed by profound sayings like “ The banana that was in the beginning, will ever be and remain in the end”. Eastern scriptures of the ancient banana cult say: “ This is Banana, That is Banana, whatever Springs from Banana is also Banana, if you remove Banana from Banana, what remains? Banana!”
The Banana Cult was founded by the great joyful and heartful spiritual master Sri Maha Chinna Kuranku Paja after he realized through an intense period of over 3 minutes to source the origin of all being in the cosmos back the the One Primordial Banana that is the source of all things manifest and unmanifested. The One Primordial Banana is a cosmic omnipresent entity being not only the creater, maintainer and destroyer off all things manifest and unmanifest in and outside the myriads of all our multiverses. It is too the very source of human nature and who we all are in essence. There is a saying within the Banana Cult that goes like this: “ before the mind is emptiness and beyond the emptiness there is void and beyond the void, there is only bananas, beyond all bananas is the everlasting, omnipresent and most spiritual banana of them all, also called the Great Yellow One!”
The followers of the Great Yellow One do follow and observe a strict spiritual discipline starting with getting up so early that it is impossible to function properly until the end of the day and you just have to take a siesta otherwise you wont manage. The diet is needless to say only Bananas of different varieties and the ones spiritual attire only in Yellow, Red and Green, bringing insight into the the relation between the banana cult and the island culture: Rastafarianism.
O.T.M follows the scriptures, The Book of Banana, Banana Giita, the Banana Sutras, Bananayama and Mahabanana, other spiritual works by the founder can be found such as “ the path to bananda” The Holy Banana, the Bananapada and the Bananataka, Banana de jing, The Banana Gospel. Sermon of the great yellow one, The Sacred exchange between Banananda and Lady Banana, The Yellow way, Confessions of a bananian, The Banana Tablet, The Great Yellow Codex, The Tibetan book of the dead bananas, RigBananas, Bananas, Sama Bananas, Upinabanana and last but not least the epic and historical religious text the Epistle of the original banana.
Controversies: The leader of the Banana Cult have been convicted many times for trying to control the minds of his followers to feed him bananas, sing song of bananas for him before he goes to sleep and to forcefully mindcontroll them to iron his Banana patterned pyjamas. Rumours of sexual controversies, persecution of fellow members just for the sake of being cult-like, fanatical uproars, burning of commercial symbols containing other fruits than bananas publically and acts of physical violence including bananas as weapons are all of controversies the banan cult is reputed with, all accomplished with the use of one or more bananas. One official story published on the gossip platform gawker tells that a group of anonymous banana cult members gathered in front of Macintosh head office dressed with yellow bandit hoods burning a flag with the official “apple logo”, the leader of the group later addressed the german newspaper Die Tages Spiel and told that the suprssion of the original source will not take the tyranny of the dominant imperialistic fruits anymore, why apple? Why not banana? Head of Macintosh Berlin Mr…… replied to the press later on that he and the whole office were in deep shock and that they have never experienced anything like this before, or with his own words “ They simply went bananas!” Another urbanana legend tells of an anti banana activist who got into dispute with one of the banana cults earlier members and the result was that both members got hospitalized choking on what the doctor claimed was “ an inhumane amount of squished bananas” numbering far beyond what is physically possible to devour for a human being, no doubt there are higher and more powerful forces involved was the statement of the doctor. Both of the accused are to be bananaed forever from all public fruit markeds around Barcelona.
......more banana business to come
Yours trully
Bananafocus