Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 53 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 19)

in funny •  6 years ago 

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 53rd part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please read and pick the ones you like best from this post series. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



Riddle of the poop

JOHN: Tom, if you can answer this riddle. I will treat you to drinks at a bar tonight.
TOM: Okay, bring it on, buddy!
JOHN: Why is poop always surrounded by flies?
TOM: Because it smells so bad...That must be the answer, right?
JOHN: Wrong! It is surrounded by flies because it is not covered! Try to cover the poop and flies would not surround it!


Words of wisdom of thief

What did the thief say to the owner of the house which he just burglarized?

"Better lock next time!"


Ignorant patient

Giphy

PATIENT: Doctor, the rash on my balls is still very itchy!
DOCTOR: Didn't the prescription I gave you worked?
PATIENT: You mean that piece of paper with your writing you gave me last week???
DOCTOR: Yes, I listed the ointments there!
PATIENT: Oh, I scrubbed that paper on my balls!


The gay and the straight guy

A gay man and a straight guy were peeing together in a toilet. The gay man kept looking at the straight guy's private organ...

STRAIGHT GUY: (Getting irritated) If you won't stop looking, I'm going to beat you up so bloody bad with "it"!
GAY MAN: Really??? You promise?!?


Hairless in heaven

Giphy

KID: Mom, if Dad dies, can he ever go to heaven?
MOM: Son, where did you ever get the idea for that question?
KID: Because, I never saw an angel that was bald!



Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


Follow me as @darthnava: "Release your secret weapon!"

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Wowowoow...amazing funny..and great post...thanks for share..dear @darthnava

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