This second community review will earn @artsygoddess 50% of the SBD payout for her candy recommendation! Two more winners from the last suggestion box still to come. Check out the first community review:
Also I have added this to yunk. I think yunkites will take pleasure in it as much as the non- yunklightened.
The Watchamacallit Bar - Recommended by @mr-gimme-wiggles
When @artsygoddess suggested I review Kinder Eggs, I admit, I was dubious.
Dubious, not only because I rightfully believed the original Kinder Egg to have been banned from the US, but because I just wasn't that excited about it. I mean, it's a cool idea for a little kid – take some good quality milk chocolate, shape it into an egg and stick a candy inside. As a child, I would be overjoyed – it's the childhood equivalent of having a stripper pop out of a cake. But as an adult, the appeal was diminished.
Nonetheless, I set about my duty to find the Egg, as promised. Looked in a bunch of stores, with no luck – and then there it was. For $3.50! Now I was really kicking myself. I even considered pretending I couldn't find the damn things. Then I ground my teeth and bought one, feeling like a putz.
But Hark, Dear Reader, What A Fool I Was Then!
Today I opened up that egg - and what I saw astonished me.
Yes, Good Reader - I Bought The Wrong Damned Egg
Well, sort of. This is the only Kinder Egg I know of legally sold in the US thanks to an obscure 1930s law that disallows the sale of any candy with non-candy objects inside it. If I had to guess, the Kinder R&D people must have spent a lot of time talking to the law department about the nature of those restrictions, and come up with this design.
And what a design! I mean, you open this thing up and suddenly $3.50 seems like a steal. Look at those lines, that printing, the cleanness of it all! What you don't get to experience here is the delight of peeling the two halves apart. At this point I am already feeling much better.
First you pull off this perfect little scraper. It is designed with absolute perfection in mind. It fits the contours of the egg with exactitude.
Then, peel off the plastic to reveal...
Whatever the hell this is!
I'll tell you what it is. It is two chocolatey, crunchy, heavenly candy balls peacefully ensconced in a cream so perfect, it could be served to the Queen of England.
Now, let's be clear. This is a bit weird looking at first - I mean, whoever thought of putting two balls in a bowl of white cream had an ulterior motive, I'd bet money on it. But, then you dig in and take your first, tremendous bite and LO, IT IS GOOD
There's chocolate under the creamy vanilla. And see how it looks like the most perfect creamy substance you've ever encountered?! That is no coincidence - nor an optical trick - that is the truth.
The creams, both of them, are astounding! Very sweet, but so chocolatey and buttery in their turns that you hardly even notice. They taste, positively, classy. They move in a high class way, like a dessert you might order in a good French restaurant, though no good French restaurant would ever admit it.
The creams blend together in a swirl of decadence, living up to, and surpassing, the vaguely disgusting promise that they would be "rich with milk."
But the cream is not the whole picture, friends! It is but part of one of the most complete wholes in candy-dom.
You see the two testicular looking candy balls are no slouches either! Not only are they surrounded in a perfectly crunchy melange of chocolate and wafer, but inside, as though it were necessary at all, IS ANOTHER HELPING OF DELICIOUS CREAM!
Of course, that cream is ALSO phenomenal - abundant in cocoa notes even as it is the sweetest, richest milk chocolate. When you scope up the entire ball, together with a sizable portion of the creamy bath in which it lay, and take the whole wad of candy amazingness into your mouth, you enter a kind of nirvana - a place previously accessible only after years of devoted meditation.
What really brings it all together is the mouthfeel.
Kinder must have employed an army of PhD holding chemists - Nobel Prize winners, all - and worked them for years, non-stop, in order to achieve this kind of earth shattering texture in a shelf stable candy intended for jabbering children. If the scientists who developed this candy had instead devoted their efforts to the betterment of human kind, all diseases would have been cured by now. Such is their talent. And such is the degree to which I enjoyed eating this bizarre thing.
Oh, and yes, there is a stupid little toy on the other side. It's an absolutely tiny little water gun shaped like a space ship. It holds about five thimbles full of water, but it does expel that water with a fair amount of pressure if you squeeze the plunger hard. It is the Derringer of water guns.
Incidentally, it is NOT edible. Believe me, I tried. ;)
Diabetic Shock is a series wherein I review candy, primarily candy recommended for review by a member of the steemit community.
This candy was recommended by @artsygoddess, and she will be receiving 50% of the SBD payout!
There are a couple of more reviews to do from the first suggestion box post. Once those are up, everyone will get a chance to recommend more candies!
This is probably the best candy review I ever read. But its still not the Kinder Egg I grew up with:D
Just one thing unless you know how to start an alternative universe to handle both options you should decide if the person reccomending them gets 15% or 50% of the sbd( you have both numbers in the post one on top one at the bottom) ;)
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Thanks! And thanks for finding the error! It is 50% of the sbd payout, which, hopefully, will increase some
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you're the only one I know @dber who could write such a terrific article on a piece of candy! I used to love the original ones as a kid. We used to get them when visiting my grandparents in France. Should I be proud of myself that I was always smart enough not to try swallowing the "surprise" inside?!
Never tried the Americanized version, but you do make a rather compelling case for it! You make eating it sound like an esoteric sexual experience. These companies should be hiring you to handle all their PR! lol
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Haha - thanks alex! I think"an esoteric sexual experience is not far from the truth of the thing. However, I'm not sure Kinder is looking for PR that is quite so... evocative.
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This is exactly what I needed.
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That was one of the best write ups I have ever come in contact with!
I agree that these little eggs are awesome, although, the other illegal ones are sold in the military commissary's. Shhhhh! I love them! :))
please excuse no upvote today as I am pathetically steemless and must rest for a few days to recover. Sigh.
Resteem
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Thanks for the resteem! I won't tell anyone about those super secret chocolate eggs - thank goodness nothing wr say he is irrevocably recorded onto some kind if digital transaction leedger... ;)
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Hehehe! I know, right? :)
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Upvoted and Resteemed by xx-votesplus, the dropAhead curation team!
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That's very expensive! In Greece it's like 1 euro or less when buying in bulk. Interestingly I have only seen them for sale during the summer. My guess is because the regular ones melt but these ones seem to hold just fine when under the Sade.
Love your writing. :)
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If these cost a dollar each I would be eating them all the time.
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This post received a 2.7% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @dber! For more information, click here!
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Great write up!!!
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@dber got you a $1.62 @minnowbooster upgoat, nice! (Image: pixabay.com)
Want a boost? Click here to read more!
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Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by DBER from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
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Loved the review the thing is similair but not quite the same it still looks amazing resteemed and upvoted maybe they just changed who knows.
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This post has received a 0.35 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.
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