I am from a culture where it is standard practice to go down to the pub several times a week and have a few drinks...... it plays an important part in socialization and in male bonding..... my Girlfriend comes from a country where this is not the norm...... she began to get upset with the amount of time i was spending in the pub with my friends..... and with the amount of money i was spending on booze..... she demanded that i stop going to the pub altogether..... i thought this was extremely unreasonable.... but decided to compromise... i promised her that i would only go to the pub and drink on weekends..... and for the first month it was tough.... like really tough.... almost torture... you have no idea how hard it was for me.... BUT NOW.... NOW...... i just fucking lie to her.
Problem solved!
6 years ago by dirtydave (46)
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Hi dirtydave,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
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Women.... cant live with them.... cant live without them (until they teach a sex robot to cook and clean)
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Shit, then they could do 2 things my wife couldn't do. lol
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W.I.F.E (Washing Ironing Fucking Etc) ..... i think your one could be broken
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Haha yeah hopefully 2030 we will be there. 20 years ago the best sex robot was my mums vacuum cleaner
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A vacuum cleaner as a sex robot..... hmmmmm.... well you can fuck it...... it cleans.... shame it cant cook..... but in the immortal words of Meatloaf “two out of three ain’t bad”
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The easiest solution usually is the right one.
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I was thinking of leaving her in a shallow fucking grave..... but couldn’t find my shovel
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I always leave my shovel in the corner by the rope, duct tape, and tarps. It is easier to find in case of an emergency.
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Think i had to put mine in a safe place.... because there was heat from the authorities.... but i cant remember where i put it.... it is the darndest thing
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😂😂
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Lying makes life so much easier
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Congratulations @dirtydave! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
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To support your work, I also upvoted your post!
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That sounds like the best way to go. But what do you do if you are really bad at lying when drunk? :D
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Never fear...... women are really gullible..... unless your gay... in that case... your fucked
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Hah. That is true lol.
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